There are two main passages of scripture I would like for us to take a look at today, but because of their length, I will not be inserting them directly into this post. Please click on the links and you will be redirected to Biblia.com where you will be able to read each section of scripture pertaining to today’s post.
Matthew 25:1-13
The 10 virgins - 5 were prepared and ready, with extra oil, 5 were not. Those who were not ready missed the bridegroom entirely.
Matthew 26:36-45
Jesus asked His disciples to keep watch and pray. However, they could not keep their eyes open and kept falling asleep.
We are much like the disciples who grew tired and the 5 virgins who grew lackadaisical in their desire to see Christ, in turn, causing them to be unprepared for Christ’s return. We need to recognize that God is not calling us to a spiritual sprint, but rather to a spiritual marathon battle.
Several months ago, attended an intercessory prayer meeting. The entire goal of the meeting was to seek the face of God for revival, unity, and healing for this divided and broken nation. The portion of the meeting I was able to attend lasted just over six hours. I found it truly interesting just how many times I had to continually refocus my attention back on Christ. I found myself drifting away into thoughts of how tired I was. In those moments of my non-engagement, I realized I was nothing more than an unprepared virgin and a sleepy disciple. It’s hard work to keep our attention on the face of Christ. This is the very reason why He calls us to these types of intense times of intercession. Jesus knows that it is a true sacrifice of our flesh. Our flesh can always come up with a million other things that it could be doing that seems to be more fun than interceding for a lost and dying nation, but the fact of the matter is this, if we don’t, who will?
The burning of my heart has always been for the lost, but lately, it seems more urgent and more desperate. I am not one who has studied out the “end times,” but all I know is that there is a groaning in the spirit realm. The heavens are roaring for God’s people to rise up and take hold of the altar, to storm the gates of hell for the unsaved! The breaking of God’s heart can be heard in the spirit realm. It’s like a woman in labor screaming in pain, desiring so desperately to see her baby in her arms. God desires so deeply to see a generation who will rise up and stand for righteousness, not grow weary in well doing, but to reap a harvest. We will never reap a harvest by warming a pew! What are we doing about it? Are we shaking heaven, or are we being shaken up by the storms we see raging around us? We need to grab hold of Christ, keep our eyes focused on His face and He will never let us down! The heavens are calling us to wage war like no other time before! As we look around us we see our culture making a drastic shift towards unrighteousness. Why does it seem like we are seeing people frantically sprinting toward hell convinced that they are racing towards heaven? I’m not sure I have the answer to this question, but I know that we, as born-again Christians, have an immense responsibility toward these people. We have sat back and watched too many people go to the grave only to spend eternity separated from their maker with little to no regard for them. When are we going to learn that sitting back was never meant to be something we are to be lukewarm about? The condition of people’s souls is something that will affect them for eternity.
It is a scary thought to think that we are all going to stand before the judgment seat of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:10) and give an account for the life that we have lived here on earth. Are we going to hear, well done good and faithful servant, or will the Father ask us about each and every person He placed in our path that we just let walk away without uttering a word, with no regard to the eternal implications? We don’t make the decision of who goes to heaven and who doesn’t, but we can make the decision whether or not those around us will hear about heaven from us. Silence is the gravest of sins in these final days. As Christians, we hold the words of life and death on the tips of our tongues. For some people in our paths, our silence is like us sentencing them to death. For some, we may very well have been their chance at heaven. Eternity is too big a thing to risk staying silent about.
Prepare your oil, be ready to stay awake in the dead of night when Christ calls you to the prayer room. We do not know whose lives we will be able to save all because we were ready.
Heavenly Father, we know that your heart breaks for the most vilest of sinners! Give us the desire to get ourselves into a position of readiness. Help us to speak life to those around us. We know there is a sense of urgency in the spirit realm. Let us not grow weary or lukewarm, but rather to be steadfast and blazing hot for the things of your kingdom. We ask these things in the precious name of Jesus Christ.
I came across these two verses in Proverbs about a quarrelsome wife and it got me thinking. I wanted to share with you my thoughts and a little bit about some things I have discovered along the way.
“A foolish child is a father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof.” Proverbs 19:13
“ A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand. ” Proverbs 27:15-16
Quarrelsome means to be argumentative, contentious,the tendency to cause disagreement or strife. Someone who is quarrelsome likes to be right, and feels the need to get the last word in or come out with the upper hand in a situation of tension. At first glance of this definition, I would be pretty quick to say I am nowhere near a quarrelsome wife. However, as I look at these phrases like… “likes to be right”, “come out with the upper hand.” Yeah, I can see that there is a tendency for me to be quarrelsome, especially in the moments when I’m feeling weak and vulnerable already.
Have you ever seen the reaction of a hurt wild animal when someone tries to help them? Their natural tendency is to fight. Why? Because in their minds they don’t want to get hurt worse than they already are. It’s their defense mechanism kicking in. They are trying to protect themselves, but what they fail to understand is that in reality, they are pushing away the very hand that is trying to help them heal. I am wired much like that wild animal, especially in those moments when I am already hurting from something else. My defense mechanism kicks in and I become the quarrelsome wife that scripture talks about. My insecurities get the upper hand and I fight back. Can anyone relate, or is it just me? I’m guessing there are probably a few of you who become quarrelsome when your husband puts a finger on your already hurting wound. Here is what I fail to remember in those moments. My husband is not my enemy. He is the hand that is trying to help bring healing and I am pushing him away by being quarrelsome.
If we take a look at Proverbs 19:13 and Proverbs 27:15 closer, they both say that a quarrelsome wife becomes like a constant dripping. Have you ever had a dripping sink? How about the sound of a toilet that just keeps running and does not shut off? Does it irritate you? It drives my husband insane! He absolutely hates those continuous sounds that don’t let up. And yet the word of God says I am that type of irritant to my husband when I am quarrelsome. Proverbs 27:16 says restraining a quarrelsome wife is as difficult as catching the wind or holding oil in the hands. Both of these things are about impossible to contain. Thank goodness we serve a God of the impossible!
Our Heavenly Father is so gracious with us. Not only has He sent us husbands to help us learn, but He is so patient with us in this process of learning. Even though our husbands may grow impatient with us, we serve a God who has a detailed roadmap for us to follow and is patiently helping us navigate our way through the wounds and scars of life. How do we combat the mindset of a quarrelsome wife, especially in those moments we think we are right and our husbands are in the wrong?
Admit and Lay it down
We must be willing to admit when we are being quarrelsome before we can ever hope to overcome the constant dripping in our husband’s ears. The very moment we notice this creeping in we need to run to the feet of Jesus and ask for His help and wisdom. We can not cut the bonds of being quarrelsome without Him!
Be quick to listen and slow to speak
James 1:19-12 says... “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” We are never going to solve our problems by arguing them away, all this will bring is destruction. If we truly desire to see our situations transformed, then that transformation must happen in us first. From the overflow of a changed heart, will flow a desire in others to change will inevitably become contagious.
Select our words carefully
Part of being slow to speak means that we take the time to think about how our words will affect the heart and mind of the one we are speaking them to. Will our words bring life or destruction, joy or pain, peace or turmoil? Scripture tells us to... “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11. If it is not encouraging, it should probably not be said.
Choose the appropriate tone of voice
It’s not just the words we say that speak volumes, it is the tone in which we say them, our body language as they roll off our lips and our and our overall demeanor as we speak that will penetrate the heart. We can say all the right words and still come across as a quarrelsome wife with our tone, body language, and demeanor. Yep, I can definitely relate to this one! There have been many moments I have shared things with my husband and they were not received well, all because I shared them in the wrong tone and demeanor. Scripture tells us that… “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
Pick the ideal time
Not every moment is the right moment to discuss challenging situations with our husbands. When he walks in the door from a long day at work, it is not the right time! We as wives need to be sensitive to his needs as well. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4. When we are able to decipher when it is a good time and when it is not a good time to discuss challenges we will be able to keep ourselves from becoming a quarrelsome wife.
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1. I believe we become a wise woman when we communicate with the proper tone, body language, and demeanor. I also think that a wise woman is able to discern the proper timing to discuss difficult situations. By doing these things we build our house and in turn it keeps us from being a quarrelsome woman who tears down their house.
Approach with a heart of love, compassion, and humility
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
In order for us to even begin to communicate with the proper tone, body language and demeanor, and to discern the best time to share, we must first operate from a place of love, compassion, and humility. That’s the bottom line here, when we keep ourselves humble, compassionate and overflowing with love, then it will be much easier to guard ourselves against being a quarrelsome wife. I don’t know about you, but this is challenging at times. My selfish nature wants its way something fierce at times and I’m ashamed to admit it, but my husband ends up with the quarrelsome wife when he should be getting the one filled with love, compassion, and humility.
Heavenly Father, you know the struggles we face at times. Our selfish nature crops in on us and our poor husbands get the complete opposite of what they should be getting. I pray that you help us to recognize when we are being quarrelsome and run to your feet immediately. Help us to hold our tongues, to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Guide our tongues to the right words to say, the proper tone, body language and demeanor in which we convey them. Give us wisdom in when to share and above all else fill us with your love, compassion, and humility. We ask all these things in the precious name of Jesus Christ.
References used: Crosswalk.com, gotquestions.org
15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.
John 21: 15-17
I find it interesting in this passage of scripture that Jesus would ask Peter three times in a row if he loved Him. As you study out the original Greek and Hebrew of this word love you realize why. In the English language we just have one word for love, but many definitions, or expressions of the word love. However, in the Greek, there are six different words for love with six very distinct meanings and expressions. In the Hebrew, they have three different words for love, each conveying a very different weight and connotation to it. I feel like the original language does a better job of helping us to see into the heart of Peter in this passage better than our current English translation can.
The original Greek
I wanted to take some time and examine the Greek words used in this passage. When Jesus asks Peter the first time if he loves Him (vs 15). That word love in the Greek is agape. This word carries a unique weight to it because it is the word used in scripture time and time again to describe the way God loves. Agape love is an all-consuming passion for the well being of the one being loved. It is a love that esteems, elevates, prizes, and delights in others expecting nothing in return. It keeps loving when the love is not reciprocated when the one being loved is unkind, unlovable, unworthy and rejecting the love being given. It is an unconditional love that only desires the best for the one being loved and nothing less. Doesn’t that just sound like our Heavenly Father? Agape love is God. That is the very definition of who He is. Agape love is how He loves us!
Now that we understand the weight associated with this word agape, let’s return to Peter. When Jesus asks “do you agape me?” I can just picture Peter squirming a bit and somewhat getting defensive as he answers… “you know I love you.” But here is where it gets interesting. Peter does not respond with the word agape. He responds with a completely different word for love and he says... “you know I “philos” you Lord.”
This word philos has an entirely different meaning and carries a much lighter weight than the word agape. It is a word that means brotherly love, a friendship kind of love. It is a fondness or a liking for another person. I read one definition that actually went as far as to say that this type of love can collapse in times of crisis. When I read this it made me stop and wonder if Peter was unknowingly foreshadowing his coming denial of knowing Jesus (Luke 22:54-71) when he said... of course I philos you, Lord.
If we keep reading Jesus asks Peter a second time “do you truly agape me?” Again, I can picture Peter still squirming and feeling a bit perturbed with Jesus’ questioning… “Yes, Lord, you know that I philo you.” Now, for a second time in a row, Peter did not answer with the same word. I wonder if that word agape had such weight in the original Greek that it was too much for Peter to even speak?
Finally, Jesus asked Peter a third time if he loved Him, but this time instead of agape He used philo, love of the friendship variety, a brotherly kind of love. Peter again replied with… “you know that I philo you.” Finally, Peter’s answer was lining up with Jesus’ question!
I don’t believe Jesus was trying to exasperate Peter here by repeating the same question over and over again, but I do believe Jesus was trying to make a point. We serve a God that loves us with an all-consuming kind of love, a love that cannot be broken, weakened or taken away. What Christ was showing here is His desire for us to love Him with that level of passion. As I studied this out I found myself asking...Do I really agape the Lord? Do I really love Christ in the manner He desires for me to love Him? God desires an all in composing, all-consuming kind of agape love. Do I even remotely give that type of love to Him or is it more of the friendship variety?
Just like Peter, I can honestly say that I absolutely philo the Lord, but agape Him is a whole new dimension, one that I wonder if I have remotely come close to.
Call to action
How about you? Do you love the Lord with the weight of an agape kind of love, or does it lean more towards the philo or friendship type? I know there are some of us out there who can honestly answer that we love the Lord in an all-encompassing, all-consuming agape type of love. But for those of us whose love for the Lord leans more towards the philos variety, we have some work to do. I wish I could say I have answers for moving from one level of love to another, but I do not. I will be seeking the Lord to reveal to my heart how to make that transition. I am just thankful that the Lord brought me to a place where I noticed there was a difference.
To read more on the topic of love visit the series on love.
Father, thank you for showing me the difference between the agape love that you shower upon me and the philos love that I end up returning. My heart’s prayer is that you bring me to a place where I can love you and others with an agape love, one that does not have expectations involved. I pray for anyone reading this post that may need to make a change in their level of love for you, that you deal with their hearts compassionately and gently. Lead them to a greater understanding of agape love. Show us, Lord, how to love like you! Show us how to agape others!
