Stepping Off The Cliff

I frequently hear people say “God is never going to give you more than you can handle” when I have faced an overwhelming circumstance. All I can say is “hogwash!” More often than not, God has allowed things to enter my life that I could not remotely handle. I also have plenty of friends who would say the same thing with the circumstances they have faced in their lives. I’m sure each one of us can relate, at least to one degree or another. We all have had occasions in our lives that we have felt like we were drowning. I truly believe that God allows our worlds to “fall apart” just so that we come to the end of ourselves and to the beginning of Him.

I was thinking the other day about how God has asked my family to step off the cliff (spiritually speaking). In the natural, selling everything we owned, leaving a steady job, being forced to rely on the generous giving of others each month for our survival, and uprooting our entire family to one of the poorest countries in the world was God’s way of saying “step off the cliff.” It’s as if the Lord’s voice echoed “I dare you to leave everything sensible in this world and take a leap of faith that will cause you to be completely out of control. Yes, it will absolutely be more than you can handle, but watch what I can do with the things you can’t do.” 

When God called us to Liberia, there was no promise that my kids would not get sick and die, there was no promise that money would keep coming to sustain us, there was no promise that things were going to be okay. In other words, when God called our family to step off the cliff, He did not give us a parachute or a harness and rappelling ropes for us to bail ourselves out. There were no safety nets under us or helicopters standing in the waiting for our rescue. When God called us to step off the cliff, there was no turning back. The Lord dared our family to step out knowing that we had no chance of stepping back onto the safety and security of our comfort zones, aka, the cliff in which we we had left behind.

Two years after stepping off this cliff, our family would absolutely say that there have been many times we felt like we were free falling out of control. But, even in the midst of the falling, we are continually reminded that our lives are not falling apart, but rather falling into place. Stepping out when the ground beneath is unable to be seen is a scary place. But we have learned that when the Lord calls us to step off the cliff, it absolutely will be more than we can handle, but it will never be more than God can handle. And that my friend, is all the safety net we will ever need!

Call to Action

What is God calling you to step into and leave behind? I encourage you today to seek the Lord and find out what step of faith He is calling you into next. May the Lord birth in your heart the desire to step off the cliff of faith and never look back.

Heavenly Father I thank you for calling us into places of unknown, places that require us to take leaps of faith, to step off the cliff and give surrender some things in our lives. Show us the cliff you have for each of us to step off of in your kingdom. Fill us with the faith that draws us to the end of ourselves and into the beginning of you. We pray against the temptation to stay in our comfort zones, but to step out and free fall into your perfect will for our lives. We ask this in the precious name of Jesus Christ.

Perfect Timing

If you know my back story, then you already are well aware that I am a stroke survivor. If not, please feel free to read about it here. I have been going through the Esther study by Beth Moore with a group of missionary ladies here in Liberia and was completely caught off guard when I realized that much like the story of Esther, where the divine timing of God was impeccable, so too God had written my own story to have His divinely inspired timing. This last week of April I celebrate my eight year anniversary at my second chance at life. Mind blowing to me, was the significant shift in year seven and the importance that the number seven has scripturally.

Up until year seven I had not experienced any real solid stretches of relief in my daily head pain. Years one through six were pretty much defined by debilitating and incapacitating pain. I had pretty much settled in my mind that the rest of my life would be dictated by one uncontrollable headache after another. I figured that it was my “thorn” to bear so I may as well get comfortable with my pain. I had undergone countless doctors visits and medications with no significant change. I had grown discouraged with the constant array of prayers for healing since barely even a subtle shift or change had taken place in the first six years.

Our hindsight is often twenty-twenty while our “in the moment sight” can be completely blinded to the spiritual reality unfolding right in front of us. I have since come to realize that the first five years post stroke were merely preparation for year six. While year six set the stage for year seven to usher in God’s perfect timing. Let me explain what this looked like for my family and myself as we walked through these seven years. In years one through five the Lord was preparing our hearts to step through an open door in year six. He had been laying a foundation of which we would be forced to stand upon in the next phase of our walk. In year six, our family made the decision to walk through the door of missionary life. We were simply being obedient to what we had felt in our hearts for many years, but the timing was never right. Year seven was spent on the ground in Liberia and me flying back and forth for treatments. However, the significant change that took place this year was addition to my already extensive medication list. Within just a month after starting this new medication, I started seeing days go by without even a single twinge of pain. The days turned into weeks, and now the weeks have turned into months. It is no coincidence that I have experienced this breakthrough before year seven has come to a close. Let me explain why and how it came to my remembrance during the study of Esther.

In the story of Esther the first edict that was issued by Haman for the annihilation of the Jews on the 13th day of the month of Nisan. As you progress through the story and Esther finally brings her petition to the king, there was a second edict that went out by Mordecai to grant the Jews complete liberty to protect themselves against anyone who would bring them harm. This edict went out on the 23rd day of the month of Sivan. What is intriguing about these two dates on the Jewish calendar was that they fell exactly 70 days apart. The number 70, as well as the number 7, is frequently symbolic of completion and perfection throughout scripture. In the story of Esther, God’s perfect timing and reversal of the Jews’ destiny came 70 days after they thought they were going to be completely annihilated.

As I began looking at my own calendar and realizing that my 7th year was coming to a close, I began to realize what had happened in this year. I experienced months of pain free living! God’s timing is never late. I’m not claiming that I am never going to have another headache the rest of my life, but I do believe my days of daily incapacitating pain are behind me. If there is anything I have learned in my lifetime of serving the Lord it’s this, there are no coincidences in the kingdom, only God’s divine timing. God is directing a kingdom symphony where every note is perfectly timed. What an absolute privilege it is to be a part of the heavenly sound He orchestrates! To God be all the glory!

To read more about my stroke recovery journey please visit : My By Faith Shoes, My Battle Verses, Recovery Road, Prayer

Life Update

I realize it’s been quite some time since my last post. I have no excuses other than to say, when you are asked to juggle too many balls it is inevitable that some of those balls will get dropped. Unfortunately, this blog has been one of them. I am hoping that I can begin to place this juggling ball back into the rotation of things once again, but please extend some grace in this area as our family embarks on a new chapter of our lives that will be full of the unexpected. Please continue reading to learn more about the changes that have happened and are continuing to take place.

I did a post awhile back called “Dodging Bullets.” In this post, I shared that we had an interview for a position that would enable us to raise funds for Liberia more on a full-time basis. We received word that we got the full-time position as “Missionary Ambassadors.” From the instant we received this news, we were hurled into a full steam ahead no turning back whirlwind. Within 7 days of that news we had a verbal agreement on the selling of our house and three days later we signed the paperwork. We never advertised, nor did we even put a sign in the front yard. We spoke with one person and that is who ended up purchasing the property. We did not even have to negotiate price. They offered us the exact amount that we wanted without us ever telling them what that price was, they were the ones who spoke of price first. The people who moved in, even purchased some of our furniture from us, right down to the bed I slept in. No one other than the Lord is able to work out those minute details. Things have been pretty much falling into place, but at a pace faster than I can keep up with!

If you don’t already know that when the Lord moves, so does satan. Satan will try to dig deep into his bag of arsenals in order to keep the plans and purposes of the Lord coming to pass. One of the many weapons satan so quickly hit us with had to do with our rental property. We own a duplex and one of our units were not paying rent. So this meant beginning the eviction process. Now, if any of you know anything about evicting anyone, it can easily turn into a long drawn out process with no guarantee that you as the landlord will see a penny of any of the money that they owe. We had tried as best we could to be gracious and patient, but when there are bills to pay and income not coming in that you have a contract stating that it will come, it begins to create a bit of an issue. From the day we were legally allowed to take possession of the property to do any work, we had just one weekend to turn it around, and even then the tenant's things were not off the premises, just simply moved to the garage. With the help of friends and family, we were able to get the apartment ready to turn it over to property management.

As if a marathon of work on a rental unit was not enough, we also got word that my grandfather had passed away. My family had asked my husband to perform the service. In that very instant I realized that all my struggling to move was so graciously postponed by a loving Heavenly Father who not only wanted me to be with my family in their time of grief but who also had a divine appointment scheduled that He did not want my husband and I to miss. At my grandfather’s viewing, we were introduced to a family member who had spent 52 years ministering on the continent of Africa. We sat and listened to sweet testimony after sweet testimony of the Lord’s provision and protection over his life. I thank God so deeply for that divine appointment. We were able to exchange contact information and I am looking forward to developing a precious relationship with this retired missionary. I look forward to gleaning the words of wisdom that are stored up in his heart.

We had tried for a week to physically move and every time we thought we were ready to go the Lord kept allowing things to keep us from going before He intended us to go. When we finally did load the moving truck and pulled out, it was pretty much the last possible day we could because we had a flight to catch for California within a couple days of moving from the new city we were moving to. Did I mention that our move was not a town or two over, but rather a couple states over? We moved 9 hours away!

Our move went well, but we hit the ground running as soon as we got there. We have the blessing of living with family in order to ease the financial obligations of owning a house while we pursue the call of missionary work. But when you go from having your own space with your own routines and then move in with another household that has their own routines it does make for some challenges. All in all, it has worked out well. We are still in the throngs of adjusting and settling, but I have a feeling our life will become nothing more than one big adjustment after the next.

Our next major adventure is fundraising. Our family will spend two sessions on the road each being about three months in lengths. We will be traveling to various churches sharing our story and our hearts for Liberia. We place our faith in our heavenly father who is the provider of all our needs (Philippians:19) that He who has begun a good work will see it through to completion (Philippians 1:6).

Father, we thank you for your grace and provision over our lives in the chaos of this move. I pray that as we continue to step out of our comfort zone and walk in faith that we keep our hearts and minds steadfast upon you. Help us not to get distracted by all of the wind and the waves that will inevitably crop up, but to keep our eyes focused on the one and only author and perfecter of our faith.

Dodging Bullets

I had shared in previous posts about our trip to Liberia, Africa. This trip has hurled us into a much larger plan that God has faithfully been revealing to us little bits and pieces at a time. We recently  found ourselves packing our bags for a whirlwind trip to Florida for an interview that would directly affect our ability to raise funds more on a full time bases for Liberia. I can only figure that satan felt directly threatened by this because he desperately tried all he could to distract us from the greater picture. He was shooting bullets at us left and right and all we could do was dodge them as they came and try to keep a good attitude while it was all happening. I wanted to share with you the events that took place surrounding trip so that you could see just how hard satan will work in our lives in hopes that things will go his way, as well as share with you a heart lesson that was learned in the process of being shot at.

The attack begins

Two days before our flight my husband was in a car accident. Praise God it was nothing too serious, but enough that caused us to recognize the attacks of the enemy when we saw them. That same night someone smashed our mailbox with a baseball bat, while this may seem unimportant and unrelated, we recognized that satan was kicking into high gear in hopes to distract us from the plans and purposes of the Lord. Unfortunately for him, we had already made up our minds, so we towed the car to our mechanic and straightened up the mailbox and headed for Florida. Once we got there, the attacks did not stop. I ended up leaving my purse on a chair in the airport, of which we quickly had to run back and snatch up before someone else did. By this point I was starting to get weary in the attempts to derail what God has already orchestrated. Once we landed in Florida we got a taxi from the airport to our hotel. While in the taxi, my purse fell off the seat onto the floor and I did not realize until several hours later that my phone had fallen out and was riding around in the taxi for the remainder of the afternoon. Upon discovery, we called my mother in law who was able to locate my phone using a simple app. We were even able to set an alarm off on my phone which then alerted the driver to call my husband's cell phone. We were able to reconnect with the driver and my phone was back in my hands by the next morning.

Round two

The interview came and went and you would think that by now satan would have given up. Nope, he was stubborn enough to keep shooting the bullets right at us. Our return flight was canceled due of a major snowstorm on the east coast. This forced us to reschedule our return flight and stay another night in Florida. But instead of being able to stay in the hotel that we were currently staying in, we were forced to find other accommodations because along with our flight, over 1,000 other flights were also grounded, so needless to say we were in a race with many other passengers to find a place to stay. We decided to book a room closer to the airport. Now, we just so happened to be in Florida over spring break, and the closer we got to the airport, the closer we got to the beach. And the closer we got to the beach the closer we were to unsupervised college students who were foot loose and fancy free to say it kindly. Now, I was a college student at one time. I did not enjoy the party scene then, and I have found that I enjoy it a whole lot less now that I am older. However, our new accommodations found us smack dab in the middle of a party we did not want to be in. I guess satan figured that by now, the interview was over and decisions had been made so now he was just going to torture us. We lay in bed listening to screaming and yelling college kids until about 3:00 a.m. At 1:30 a.m. one guy actually tried quite vigorously to get in our room, by pounding on the door and yanking on the door handle. I guess he thought it was his room. My husband forcibly reminded him without opening the door that he had the wrong room. (My hero).

The REAL Battle

As I laid in bed that night, all I could do was think about all of the emptiness that these young people were more than likely experiencing. They probably would not be able to remember what they had done that night or whom they had done it with. One guy walked past our room yelling “I don’t know where in the world I’m at. I don’t know how I got here.” That young man had drank himself right out of his cognizant mind and was left wondering around unable to navigate life in the slightest. My heart hurt for these young people who will more than likely spend eternity separated from the saving grace of our loving heavenly father. I prayed earnestly for their eyes to be open, for their hearts to be broken and for their lives to be transformed in the name of Jesus. As I lay there, I knew there was nothing I could do to save them from the choices they were making. My heart ached for them. I wondered if this is how our heavenly father must feel as He looks upon us when we make the conscious choice to choose sin over Him. Oh, how his heart must break as He watches his creation choosing the worldly idols to worship over their own loving creator. Yet, despite the scorn, rejection, and scrutiny the Lord still loves and desires that one day each one will look at Him with adoring eyes rather than eyes of disdain. I can’t even begin to imagine how bad that must hurt Him.

Our battles truly are not against flesh and blood, but the battles we face are in the spirit realm. We are called to battle for the hearts and souls of this generation, for a lost and dying world, a world that does not even realize they are lost and ding.  Our Lord does not want any to perish, but all to come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:9). We are to stand in the gap in prayer for these people!

While this trip started out causing me to dodge one bullet after another, it ended up with me learning so much more about the heart of my Heavenly Father. This trip allowed me to see a world full of brokenness, hurt, and emptiness, a world desperate for the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. My heart will forever be impacted by the faces that I saw bowing the knee to their own selfish ambitions. My heart was broken as I realized that the path these young people were on will never satisfy them, in fact it will do just the opposite. It will leave them more tormented than ever before.

Father God, I am so thankful that you allow us to have trials and hurdles come into our lives so  we can see the things of your heart. Thank you for showing me just how much this world needs you. Please continue to deepen my heart of compassion for those who do not know you.  I pray that each of us learns what it means to have your heart of compassion. Fill us with your love for the lost because we know it is not our desire that anyone should perish. In the precious name of Jesus Christ we pray.

Liberia Trip Part 2

Trying to share the extent of our trip in one post is about impossible so this week's post will be a continuation from where we left off of part 1 of our Liberia trip.

Along with crossing a scary truck collapsed bridge we also found ourselves trekking through swamps, rivers and even crossing over a “monkey bridge” to visit one of the churches. The "monkey bridge" is nothing more than a long jungle gym of logs and sticks that spans the width of an entire river. The “monkey bridge” trip is done by a pastor every weekend for Sunday services. This is a two-hour walk for him from the mission and believe me when I say Liberians don’t mess around when they are going somewhere. I had trouble keeping up! When we took this particular trip we were met on the trail by a woman who knew my husband's grandparents. When she found out who we were, she literally shrieked and wailed with tears of joy. It was such an emotional moment I cried for about ten minutes after we left the woman. Oh, the heritage of Christ! What a beautiful thing it is!

"Monkey Bridge", swamps and rivers we crossed getting to one of the interior churches.

Another big part of our trip to the mission revolved around the school. My husband and I both have our teaching certifications. So because of our backgrounds and experience in education we spent some time doing a teacher training for the mission school teachers. Most of the teachers we were working with had no formal education beyond high school, and some had not even graduated high school. Their education system is extremely rote and completely different than the way our American teachers are trained to teach children. We were so blessed to see their desire to want to learn new ways to effectively educate their students. We are praying that the Lord opens more doors to be able to bring further teacher training to Liberia.  

Presentation of various teaching strategies at the training.

Yet another adventurous part of our trip was the food. I have to say, I truly do like Liberian food, but there was for sure some stretching going on in this department as well. Their cooking takes place outside over a fire in an outdoor kitchen. We ate village chicken, which by the way, is not at all like our American chicken, lots of rice, plantain, fish, snail, crawl fish, collard greens, pineapple, cucumber, and a couple things that we were not sure exactly what they were. We ate what was placed before us because we knew that much love and hard work went into the preparation of our meals and we in no way wanted to disrespect that! We truly were blessed beyond measure as far as the food went.

We ate this bush snail and these crawl fish.

The first half of our trip to the interior was both a blessing to our spirits and humbling to our hearts all at the same time. We were so encouraged and moved to see the Liberians that the missionaries sowed seeds into years ago are still serving the Lord with every ounce of their being. On the same token, it humbled our hearts because we have also seen that the needs are so great! We truly found ourselves laying things at the feet of Jesus because we realized that we do not have enough resources at our human disposal to meet the vast quantity of needs we saw during our stay. The needs are so enormous that the only thing we can do is to rely on God to be the provider. Otherwise, we would walk away shaking our heads and throwing our hands up in discouragement. If we did not hand over our burdened hearts for these people to the Lord we would end up drowning in the overwhelming sense that we are in fact inadequate to begin making an impact on the endless needs set before our eyes. Everywhere we turned, every place we looked, every person we met, there were major needs.

The second half of our trip was not as adventurous, but just as important to accomplish what God had called us to do. We spent time with the Liberian national church leadership as well as the American national church leadership. We spent some time viewing churches in the various towns closer to the major cities. We were able to get a clearer picture of how the Liberians operate, and they, in turn, they got a better understanding of the role that the American side can play in supporting them.

God desires to come back for a united body. He desires that we work and function in a capacity that accurately portrays the love of Christ in all we do in and for the body of Christ. And sometimes that requires us to sit down and get a clear understanding of how we can best support one another’s needs with the resources that we each have. God desires for us to come together, not to push one another away. It is our hope and prayer that as we continue our work in Liberia that we can continue to unify the body of Christ and portray His love accurately.

See Liberia Trip Part 1 and for more details from our trip.

Father, I thank you for opening my eyes to the needs of others. I pray that as I share these stories with others, that their hearts are pricked to reach out to those in need. Lord, I thank you that we do not have to travel overseas to be missionaries. We can be missionaries in our own backyards, in our work places, at our schools, at our local parks, and at our grocery stores. Let your love be evident in our lives no matter where we go. Let your love flow out of us and penetrate others around us. Help us to be everyday missionaries for your kingdom. In the precious name of Jesus Christ.

Liberia Trip Part 1

Last week I shared with you our family history and ties to Liberia. This week I would like to share some more details of our trip and what prompted us to return to our family roots.

As I mentioned last week, Liberia sits right on the coast of West Africa. So needless to say, it is breathtakingly beautiful! My husband and I found ourselves saying time and time again… “If Americans knew about this place, they’d pay big bucks to come here.” Yes, no lie, it is that captivating! Aside from the color of the water, some of the places we saw reminded us so much of our trip to Hawaii. Not even joking!

Beautiful scenery!

We spent our first two nights in the capital city of Monrovia staying with friends of our family, actually a man who grew up in Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Grandma and Grandpa took in several young Liberians who needed a place to live. They raised them as their own. In the short time we stayed with this man we saw the fruit of the spirit flowing out of him that Grandma and Grandpa had invested so much time sowing. The family we stayed with lived in a small gated community with three houses inside. The houses shared a water pump and generator run electric power, which was only on from about 7:00 pm until 6:00 am. They did not have power during the day. They cooked over a coal fire. They did not have any running water. But thankfully they had a toilet that was able to be flushed when you dumped water down it. The mother was a nurse and who had received her training here in the States through a grant. This was quite comforting to us because she was able to acclimate us to Liberian life and prepare us for our next phase of our trip, a ten-day trip interior, where life is entirely different from life in the capital city.

Once departing the capital city we found ourselves on an all day car ride to the interior. Please note here that on a good day you might make it to the mission in about 6 hours from the capital city. However, if there has been any amount of rain whatsoever, you can expect that time to increase drastically. All I can compare the interior Liberian roads to is our off-roading excursions here in the States, only, forget the fun of flying through the dirt on an ATV. Oh no! I have to say, there was not really anything fun about being bounced around like popcorn. And believe me when I say our driver was not to blame for any of it! The roads truly are that rough!

We were blessed with a great driver the entire time we were there! Praise the Lord for that because driving in Liberia is like “diving on another planet!” (as one of our Liberian friends says). And may I add that there are no restrooms anywhere on any of these long jostling roads. So, yes, we did have to pull over for an up close and personal experience with nature. Thankfully, I was prepared! My husband’s aunt and uncle who are currently missionaries in another African country warned me that I would more than likely find myself in situations such as this. So, out came the lapper (a large piece of fabric when wrapped around you it can be worn as a skirt, as well as its many other uses when needed) and away we went. For most Americans, we would have trouble getting past the jarring all day car ride much less having to do our business along the side of the road. For me, it was somehow all so exciting. I was being stretched beyond recognition and loving every minute of it! However, this was only the beginning of my stretching.

We arrived on the mission late in the evening and quite exhausted from our popcorn journey. The Liberians on the mission greeted us as if we were old friends and it was such a comforting feeling, to say the least. Our living arrangements for the next ten days was with the pastor on the mission and his family. You could tell that they had put out their very best for us and was it ever humbling! We were received with such love and honor. By American standards, this family did not have much in the way of material possessions but you would never know that based upon their attitudes and actions. It truly was such refreshing to be surrounded by people who were so enamored with the Lord that the little they had was more than enough. Yes, their lives have challenges, but they have the Lord, and the Lord does not leave the righteous forsaken (Psalm 37:25).

The next ten days were filled with many adventures including an eight-hour motorcycle trip further interior to visit more churches. Getting a round in Liberia always seems to be full of adventures. Our motorcycle trip was just that. We traveled with two other motor cycles, and five of us all together. We had bikes break down, flat tires, we saw an entire village filled with excitement over a bush cow that was killed (meaning the village would have plenty to eat), and we rode for an hour straight in the pouring down rain. Thankfully this was the last hour of our trip and we had finished viewing all of the churches, so we were heading back to the mission to recharge.

The motorcycle my husband and I road on

One of several bike fixes on our motorcycle trip.

One of the churches on our motorcycle trip required us to walk over a bridge that a logging truck had tried to drive over several months before and collapsed part of the bridge in the process of crossing. So the truck was hanging on the bridge leaving only a single footpath for one person to pass by at a time. This made the bridge steep and honestly quite scary. Please note that my picture does not do the situation justice. It was a sight, unlike anything I had ever seen.

Men carried heavy loads across the bridge to the other side on their heads all day long. 

Safely on the other side, we met some precious church people who were so excited to see our arrival. There was one man who told us a story of my husband’s grandfather and the impact he had on an entire village all because he was willing to eat the snake that the village had just killed. This man was a product of our grandfather’s willingness to “become all things to all men that he might win some” (2 Corinthians 9:22). It brings me to tears just thinking about the stories that were shared as we encountered so many beautiful people!

See Liberia Trip Part 2 and Family History With Liberia for more details of our trip.

Lord, I pray that as I share about this trip that you open our hearts and minds to the world around us. Open our hearts to others who are in need. Help us to go outside ourselves and share with others the love that only you can give. In Jesus precious name.

Family History With Liberia

My husband and I had the precious opportunity to travel to Liberia this past summer, a country that sits on the northern coast of West Africa. This little nation has faced mass destruction from two major civil wars that together spanned a period of twelve long years. The memories from civil wars are still very vivid in the minds of so many Liberians because the second civil war ended just 13 years ago, in 2003. During our stay, we learned that schools had been closed down for fourteen years. Leaving an entire generation of Liberians unable to read or write. This makes it very difficult for their society to make advancements. In 2015, the United Nations named Liberia's capital city of Monrovia, the poorest capital city in the world. To this day the entire nation continues to live with no infrastructure for sewer, running water, or electric power. They have slowly been trying to rebuild roads in the main cities, but to get anywhere in the interior is about impossible during the rainy season even if you happen to be one of the lucky ones to owns a four wheeled drive vehicle. Many of the roads, especially in the interior, are dirt roads and as rainy season progresses, the roads become less and less usable. In fact, so much that by the middle of the rainy season there are many places in Liberia that are completely cut off from anyone being able to come or go.

The history of this little nation runs quite deep in our family. My husband's grandparents were missionaries there for 27 years until the church was nationalized. Soon after the work had been nationalized, civil war broke out across the country. I wanted to spend some time sharing with you the deep family heritage that I have been so richly blessed with. I thank God for the opportunity to be part of such a rich heritage.

When Grandma and Grandpa first went into the mission field they were fresh out of Bible college with a heart for ministry. So when Liberia became available they did not hesitate to pack their bags and make the long journey by ship. Grandma and Grandpa both had a heart that beat loudly for the people of Liberia. There is no greater way to win a soul to the Lord than through agape love. Grandma and Grandpa understood what agape love looked like, sounded like and felt like.

They figured that the only way they were going to make an impact in the hearts and lives of these people is to accept them for who they are and love the “hell” out of them in the process. They based their lives around the scripture says, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another." (John 13:35) Grandma and Grandma loved these people so much! It was that love that was able to lead many lives to the foot of the cross and to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. They knew that if they would just shower the people of Liberia with agape love that God would take care of the rest.

Grandma and Grandpa were no ordinary missionaries.  Sometimes missionaries go and build for themselves a comfortable house. Yes, while that house may not be equivalent to our American standards, they usually end up living like kings as compared to those around them in their third world environment. However, Grandma and Grandpa did not do this. They built themselves a thatch hut. Yes, you read correctly! They lived in a hut with dirt floors, cooked over a fire, ate the types of food the natives were eating and basically became like one of them. Paul says, "I become all things to all men that I might win some." (1 Corinthians 9:19-23) Well, Grandma and Grandpa took this portion of scripture literally. They became Librarian in order to win some Liberians. They did not try to make Americans out of them. They made themselves Liberians to make disciples out of them. What a different mindset. If we want to win souls, which by the way is what we are called to do, then we must be willing to make some adjustments in how we approach the sinner. We are not called to change them. We are called to show them the agape love of Christ so that Christ can change them. This is how true disciples are made. I have said it before and I will say it again. We do not have the ability to change the human heart. The only one who can do that is God Himself. If we go into ministry like a bull in a china cabinet, then all we will reap is broken people. But if we go into ministry with the agape love of Christ, then we will reap a harvest because the Lord will do the work.

As their ministry continued in Liberia they, along with a team of missionaries began to build a mission community, complete with a church, a school, a clinic, a boys and girls dormitory and houses for the various missionaries and leaders. They taught the Liberians trades so they could earn a living. They taught carpentry, mechanics, electrical, plumbing, farming and so much more. So their days of living in a thatched house eventually did end, but it didn't just end for them, it ended for many of the Liberians whom came under the wing of the school and developed the skills to build their own houses. We had the opportunity to stay on the mission grounds that was once the home of these sacrificing missionaries of years past. But instead of the beautiful facilities that were still standing when the missionaries left, it has encountered much destruction from the wars. The people do not have the funds to even begin to think about rebuilding. They truly are just trying to survive each day. The school, church, and clinic are still functioning, but it is nowhere close to thriving or even remotely close to the degree that it once did. The mission pretty much relies on money from nonprofits and outside organizations to keep things running. Without outside help, it would be non-existent. This was so heartbreaking for us to go and see the devastation that civil war can bring to a nation and the impact it can leave behind for years after its end.

I had always heard the heart for Liberia through the stories told by my husband's grandparents, his aunts and his father who had spent their childhood years living with these beautiful people, but to be honest, I never really truly understood their passion. But having been there, meeting the people whose lives were forever touched by the hand of Christ because of the sacrifices that were made by the missionaries that gave up their American comforts to live among these people, I get it now! I totally and completely understand why their hearts were so enamored by these people. My heart has been forever changed by the things my eyes have seen and the things my ears have heard. The hearts of the Liberians are just so sweet. I only wish I had spent more time at the feet of my husband's grandparents gleaning every piece of wisdom from their 27 years of first-hand experience as missionaries. This now is no longer possible since both of these precious saints have gone home to be with our Heavenly Father. We are now praying for wisdom that the Lord will open up our eyes and ears to the things he wants us to do with and for the people in Liberia. I pray that many hearts will be forever changed for the glory of God!

We were flabbergasted by the number of people who came up to us with tears, weeping, whaling, and even screaming with excitement because they were not forgotten by the missionaries. It did not seem to matter where we were either. We had people approach us in the middle of the bush, and in the cities, out in the middle of nowhere and in little villages. They seemed to appear out of the woodwork when they heard we were the grandchildren “Ma and Pa” as the Liberians called them. The precious stories that these people shared with us of the sacrifices that Grandma and Grandpa made impacted their lives so deeply. Their lives were never the same, and neither will ours. Our hearts were so deeply touched by the sacrificial love that was shown these precious people.  It was such a challenge to my spirit. It got me thinking about my impact in the kingdom. What am I doing to impact others for eternity? What it all boils down to is this...what is done for the kingdom will last, everything else will have no impact on eternity and truly means nothing. It truly opened up my eyes in a greater measure to the urgency that has been placed before us to impact others for eternity.

For more about Liberia read Liberia Trip Part 1 and Liberia Trip Part 2.

Lord, please soften our hearts. Give us hearts of compassion for the lost and hurting. There are so many around us that need your agape love to deliver them from the hurt and bondage that they find themselves in. Help us to know what agape love looks like, sounds like and feels like so that we can be a vessel full and overflowing with it for those around us. Help us to remember that we are called to be missionaries! We do not have to travel overseas or to another country to share the agape love that you have poured into us. We can share agape love to our next door neighbors, to our co-workers, our friends, and our family members.  Fill us with your boldness Lord, that we do not shrink back when we see the hurting hearts of others around us.

I Desire

I woke up one morning thinking about all of the things I desired to be in my life. I began to write them down just as fast as they came to me. It was like a river flowing from my heart. I had trouble keeping up with the thoughts that were flooding my heart that particular morning. I just thought by sharing this list with you it might spur you on toward thinking about the desires God has put on your heart.

I Desire

I desire the type of relationship with my Lord that drives me to think about Him the very moment I wake up and not stop thinking about Him until the very moment I fall asleep at night.

I desire to praise my Lord with my innermost being, with all that I have, all that I am, and all that I will become.

I desired to be a daughter of the living God one who gives back in obedience. One who loves with every ounce of her being the Father who created her.

I desired to put on the full armor of God each and every day so that when the flaming missiles of the enemy come they will not penetrate, they cannot hurt, they will not harm any portion of my spirit, my heart, or my soul.

I desire that each day I open my Bible to read the word that I'm going to receive a fresh understanding, and a fresh revelation of who God is.
I desire to be continually aware of the character of Christ that is being poured into my life in order to be formed into the woman of God that I have been called to be, to bring glory and honor to His name.

I desire the word of God to dwell in me so richly and when the battles come there is no mistaking whom I serve.

I desire to pray with a fervency that never runs dry, to enthusiastically look forward to speaking to my Father each and every day.

I desire to know the Lord more intimately each and every day, not to grow lazy in sowing the seed of God’s word in my heart, but to know my God more today than I did yesterday, to love my God more today than I did yesterday, to see my God more today than I did yesterday and to hear my God's voice more clearly today then I did yesterday.

I desire to be jealous for the Lord just as He is jealous for me.

I desire to run and not grow weary to walk and not faint.

I desire to be a wife fully supportive, fully loving both towards my husband and towards my Heavenly Father.

I desire to have the type of  marriage that is flowing with a love for the Lord, a love for one another, and a love for others.
I desire to hold the the hands of my husband up in prayer, to lay him at the feet of Jesus so that He can work and move in his life freely without any limitations on my part.

I desire  to have the types of relationships I see in so many of the precious couples who set a beautiful example of biblical marriage.

I desire to be a mother full of love, one who is tenderhearted and compassionate towards her children.

I desire to be a mother that is overflowing with patience, one who nurtures a spirit of peace in the home.

I desire to be an example of what Jesus looks like, acts like, and sounds like to my children each and every day. I desire to be the mirror of Christ.

I desire to be a daughter full of wisdom hope, love and compassion.

I desired to be a daughter quick to see the needs, quick to respond, and quick to meet those needs.

I desire to be a sister who supports in prayer and who loves through her actions. One who rejoices in times of rejoicing and who mourns in times of  morning. One who is flowing with an abundance of love.

I desire to be a friend quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry.

I desire to be a woman of faith full of hope and overflowing with love and compassion.

I desire to be a neighbor who cares. A neighbor who meets needs. One who takes the time to talk with and cares for those around her.

I desire the types of relationships that are ever flowing with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control.

I desire to stand with the family of God in such a way that a I become inseparable, immovable and unshakable.

These are just a few of my hearts desires. I pray that by reading this list you too will be will be inspired to fan the flame in your heart, to fulfill the things that God has for you in each of your relationships. I pray that you are going to begin to see the things that God has for you, the people He wants you to influence, the places He wants you to go, the things He wants you to do, and the character He wants to build in your heart. May this little list influence you to grow in your heart a desire to go deeper with the Lord each and every day.

Parenting The Heart

Some parents instantly acquire a connection with their children at birth that grows as their children grow. For me, it wasn’t so much of a connection as it was an instant need to get them to behave the way I wanted. From the minute they were born I felt the need to manipulate behavior. However, this approach to parenting would quickly prove itself to be problematic if this was the only method of parenting my children ever saw. There is a need in parenting to switch from parenting behavior, to parenting the heart. In order to parent the heart of a child, it needs to come from a place of love and relationship, from a place of vulnerability, something that I am not good at, but by God's grace I pray that this is an area I will grow and prosper in.

Small rant 
Yes, I am openly admitting this fact to you. Why? Because like every other parent, I have not arrived. I do not know it all. In fact, there is a whole lot more that I don’t know then I actually know. So, this is why I share this part of me with you all today. I get the feeling that when we read blogs, we somehow think that the person writing has figured it all out and that is why they are writing. The truth is, we all miss it. We all have things we need to get better at, change, fix, and tweak in our parenting as well as in our lives. There is no one who has arrived on the other side of this screen. Sorry, for the short little tangent there. I just wanted you all to remember that I am just an ordinary person writing about the things God has been teaching me. My hope is that you will glean from the things I share and the Lord will teach you some things in the process.

A need for change

I have a tendency to  find myself feeling inconvenienced and frustrated at times with my children. Sadly, my children are to the age that they can see my frustration and they will often apologize for it, when it is not them at all, it is me. I am the one with the skewed perception of how I think this parenting thing needs to work. I am finding the need to start enjoying my children more and to parent from my heart to their hearts. There is a need for me to become a little more vulnerable in my parenting and not so rigid. I can not always be right and my children wrong. Truly, I am not perfect, so what makes me think they must always do as I say no questions asked? I miss it sometimes and it is important for my kids to know what I do and how I handle myself when I mess up. It is important that I teach their hearts and not just their outward behaviors. It has been hard to make a 180 degree shift in my thinking. How about you? Do you find yourself parenting solely the behavior of your children rather than the heart? Controlling behavior is one thing when they are young.  But if we expect our children to be responsible, independent adults, than it is our responsibility as parents to show them how to work through their own problems, how to be critical thinkers and problem solvers, rather than merely correcting wrong behavior all of the time. Our children need to know why something is wrong, how to make it right, and what they can do to guard their hearts from wanting to do that same thing again. Along with this, our children need to know that we have their backs, that we love them even in the moments that they mess up. Why? Because this is how God operates. God has our backs. He loves us even when we mess up, miss the mark and disappoint. He loves us! We need to make sure we are training our children to be secure in making good choices. There will come a day when we as parents will not be around to be able to tell them what to do and how to do it. So, have we prepared their hearts to stand on their own two feet and choose righteousness? One thing I have recently been asking my older two children is “well, what do you think you should do?” I want them to openly communicate their thoughts so that they learn how to work through their problems instead of being told how to do things all of the time. I want them to be able to critically think about the situation that they face and be able to come up with a solution for themselves. I am not raising robots here. I am raising up soldiers in the army of the Lord! They need to learn to recognize the battle that lies before them and know how to fight the good fight of faith.

Our world is not getting any easier for anyone to navigate. If we send our under prepared children out into the world to fend for themselves, we are sure to see them struggle unnecessarily.  Even the most prepared individuals have struggles in life, but the difference is that they have the tools to work through the the tough times without falling apart. Those who are under prepared lack the problem solving skills to work through the times of adversity. So when these times come, it will leave them overcome rather than walking in the victory of being an overcomer.

Parenting like the Lord

One of my new parenting goals is to convert my parenting style from parenting more out of authority to parenting more out of relationship. As my children enter into the transition years I want them to know that mom is not just a disciplinarian, but a trusting friend they can turn to and talk things out with. I am not looking to be my children's best friends, but I do however, want my children to be comfortable enough with our relationship that they are not afraid to come to me with anything that they are struggling with, no matter what. When I really stop and think about it, this is how our heavenly Father desires our relationship to be with Him. He desires for us to go to Him with the things we are struggling with. He doesn’t want us to be so afraid that He is going to discipline us with a heavy hand that we are too scared to come to Him with our hurting hearts. On the contrary, our Lord longs for us to open up our hearts to Him. He longs for us to share our deepest hurts and let Him into our most vulnerable places. However, the Lord is not going to force His way into the overprotected areas of our hearts. He will patiently wait on us to lay ourselves at His feet and share those things with Him.

As I enter into this new phase of parenting I need to be sure to take some lessons from the way the Lord handles my heart. Just as the Lord is patient and not forceful, I must be sure not to force my children to share their hearts with me. I must wait patiently and pray for those opportunities to present themselves. I want my children to come to me because they are willing and ready, not because they have no other choice. The other hitch to this is being ready for those times whenever they may come. I have a sneaky suspicion that they will probably happen in moments when it is least expected. The true test will come in those moments. Will I brush off those moments, or will I allow my heart to be open and ready to listen to what my children have to share? Will I respond rightly, or will I be ready to jump back into my previous role of authoritarian and be ready with the rod of correction? I am sure that as our family embarks on this transition that there will be a whole lot of seeking the Lord going on in this house! I am quite sure that we will be in dire need for His guidance for the situations that will present themselves in the coming years.

How about you? Do you find yourself in a time of transitioning your parenting style?    

Lord, I thank you that you show us a beautiful example of parenting from the heart in our relationship with you each and every day. Help us as we to parent our children from the heart just as you parent us from your heart. Help us to be ready in those moments when our children open up their most private places of their hearts. Help us to handle their hearts with the utmost of care! Give us a heart of compassion for their precious hearts and ears to hear what they are saying. Help us to shut off our judgmental thinking and open up our ears so we can speak what you want us to speak into their hearts in those vulnerable moments. Give us your wisdom Lord!

For more on parenting visit: The Mirror Concept, Lessons From Our Children, Parent Communication, Parenting Goals, Consistency In Parenting, The Growing Pains Of Motherhood, A Mother's Commission and Precious Moments