Recovery Road

As I shared in my first post, I found myself on a difficult road these last three years, and it has been one I do not care to repeat. But in the same breath I must also say this, I count it a blessing that I have had the opportunity to walk this very path. I know that may sound a little crazy to some of you. How many people can say they are thankful they suffered a stroke at the ripe old age of 31? However, I have found that the Lord has used this situation in my life to bring about more than I could have ever learned by walking an easier road, one with less mountains to climb, and less rocks in the way. If the last three years had been a cake walk I am quite sure I would have missed out on some beautiful workings of God in my life. It truly has been amazing! It's funny how the Lord will use difficult circumstances in our lives to allow us to see Him for who He really is, and to open our eyes to things that we have never seen before.  

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish it's work so that you will be made mature and complete not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

Throughout the past three years I have had the opportunity to walk in the shoes of those who obviously have experienced a stroke and have had to recover from that. I have walked in the shoes of those who live with chronic pain. I have experienced the depths of depression. I completely understand those who live at the mercy of the side effects of their medications just so they can manage through each day. I have experienced what it is like to completely rely on another human being for your livelihood. I have also experienced the depths of love and friendship.

I am so thankful for the love that has been poured out on me during this season in my life. The Lord has blessed me with a husband who literally did everything for me in a time I could do nothing for myself. I saw the most beautiful side of a servant's heart flowing out of him. This is a side of him I had not seen before, a side of him that has made me fall more in love with him then the day I married him. I saw a sacrificial, servant type love. It ministered so deeply to me in those early days of recovery, and it still does three years later! Also during this time, our church family rallied around us and helped us to keep moving forward in a time when it would have been so easy to stop trying. They made meals for us for six months after my stroke and on top of that, they came to clean our house each week! Our family came to our aide countless times to help with our children, my appointments and so many other loose ends. Just as I said, I have experienced the depths of love and friendship.

To this day I experience daily pain since my stroke. The stroke is not the cause of my pain, but rather what triggered my stroke is to blame for that one. Due to the extensive number of medications I have tried over the years I have truly lived at the mercy of the side effects of each one. Those of you who have experience in this department will know that your body is no longer under your control. I had mentioned depression, this was one major thing I faced and it was a side effect of one of the medications I was on. I never understood depression until I walked a mile in those shoes. I didn't understand how someone bubbly and happy go lucky could find herself wanting to stay in bed or not wanting to leave the house. I felt a constant cloud of heaviness hovering over me as if it was going to fall and crush me. I am grateful to the Lord that the cloud of heaviness has since lifted, but what a challenging time it was!

Those of you who are walking in these shoes today, I pray that the Lord places his hand upon you and lifts your cloud of heaviness from you. My heart hurts for you because it feels like such a place of loneliness and hopelessness, but the Lord does not desire for you to live in such a place. He desires to set you free from the chains that hold you fast. The Lord desires to free your mind, to fill you with love, joy and peace. I pray you will find a peace in the Lord that passes all understanding and will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus this very day!  

"And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7