The beauty of the kingdom of God is that we can teach and learn from one another no matter what age we are. If we are a Christian, then we have a responsibility to train others in kingdom living. But when we approach training others, we can not stop at simply telling them about these things, or even by merely being an example of these things. While these two approaches are all well and good, they are a very authoritative approach to training. We must add a third level in order for the training of a person’s heart to be effective. The first level comes through hearing and it is, “do as I say”, the second level comes through observing and it is, “do as I do”, and the third level comes through training and it is “do with me.” The “do with me” moves from being authoritative in approach, to being more of a heart to heart training. The “do with me” shows someone we are willing to walk this thing out with them. We are willing to help carry the load and the burdens right alongside them. We are willing to be accountable with them and to them. The “do with me” is training out of our relationship rather than out of our authority.This shows compassion. It shows the heart of Christ. This is a level we don’t see as often because it truly takes someone who is committed to the heart of another person. It means that we must be willing to lay aside our own wants and desires in order to pour into training someone else in kingdom living. It is a sacrificial way of training, but also a way of training that is very effective in influencing the heart of a person. This type of training shows others that we are going to be right there in the trenches of their situations with them no matter what they may be facing. This type of training is not a forceful pushing, but rather a gentle leading. We should never force people into righteous living, but rather lead gently and at the pace that God is moving on their hearts. Please bear in mind that we as humans can not change anyone’s heart. We can only lead them to the feet of the one who can.
If we take a look at the culture in Biblical times, the training for an occupation was done often times within the family, but it was done always as an apprenticeship, out of relationship with the one they were training. The older would train up the next generation right alongside them. The “do with me” method of training was readily used. They didn’t give them a five point sermon and then expect their student to go and apply it. (Although there is a time and place for this method of teaching.) They had their students working right along with them day in and day out. The student would hear how to do something, see how to do it, and do it right along side their teacher. They encompassed all three levels of teaching in order to effectively train up the next generation in a specific skill. Our approach to kingdom training should look much the same way. We should bring others along side us as we train them in kingdom living.
“ Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Titus 2:3-5
I love how this section of scripture gives us a list of things that we can teach one another about. This section of scripture is geared toward the older women training up the younger women but conceptually we can all teach and learn from one another about each of these different things despite our age.
- Teach one another to love our husbands.
- Teach one another to love our children.
- Teach one another to be self-controlled.
- Teach one another to be pure.
- Teach one another how to be busy at home.
- Teach one another how to be kind.
- Teach one another how to be subject to our husbands.
This list is so interesting to look at, because for me there are several on this list that I am definitely in need of some growth and development. Having someone to speak into our lives in these various areas is what helps us to grow in our faith and our maturity in Christ. This list not only helps us grow in the things of the kingdom, but it helps us to simply become a better person all around.
Now, lets go back to my original thoughts and see how they relate to this list we find in Titus. If we want to teach to the heart of someone about the things found on this list, then we should approach our teaching by bringing others along with us instead of simply telling them how to’s. For example, if we want to encourage a friend of ours to love her husband more, we would be better off setting up a challenge where both of us would be responsible for doing something that shows our husbands love rather than telling her “the Bible says to love your husband so you need to do that more.” or “watch how I love my husband, now you should be doing that too.” The benefit of teaching others through the “do with me” level of training is that they hear about it, see it and put it into practice all at the same time while being accountable to someone else who is also hearing it, doing it and being accountable right along side with them. I don’t know about you, but I would be more challenged in my growth if someone was doing it with me then if someone was simply telling me how to do it by myself. Let’s not leave our fellow believers out on a limb dangling in their struggles. Let’s be a little bit vulnerable and climb up the tree to help them down. Many of us are willing to help others from the ground by yelling up to the one dangling from the limb what they should be doing, but not too many of us are willing to climb up the tree in order to show the other person how to climb down. The difference between the one training from the ground and the one training from the limb are two very different approaches. Which approach would effect your heart more?
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