Identity Crisis?

Knowing who you are and how you are wired is a pretty substantial thing in life to know and understand about yourself. But what happens when you feel like everything you have always understood about your identity seems like it is taking a paradigm shift? What if you feel like your identity is no longer clear? What if you feel like you are going through an identity crisis?

This was me, questioning who I was, where I fit into life and how I was supposed to be a thriving member of society anymore. Let’s back up and understand how I came to this dangerous mindset. As you may or may not know, my family has been called to the mission field of Liberia, West Africa. Our lives had always been pretty routine and predictable. We owned our own home and honestly, it was a little piece of heaven on earth. We had bought our house knowing that we would be leaving it one day, and eight years later the Lord called us to sell everything and leave. Without hesitation we did. In this monumental act of obedience, I later came to realize that I had inadvertently wrapped up my identity in my routine, predictable and my comfortable lifestyle. So, when we left everything behind I unknowingly left behind my identity as well. I had mistakenly thought that when God called us to the mission field I had to leave not only the material life behind but also everything I had become up to that point. This thinking had started me on a slippery slope of questioning who I was and how I fit into the calling God had for our family. Please know that I never once questioned the call, I questioned how I fit into the call because I had left my identity behind. In other words, I assumed that because we were entering a new phase of our spiritual walk that I would no longer function in the same manner in which I had before. 

I praise God for His grace and mercy to bring me to a place of understanding in this area. You see, God never called me to leave behind my identity of being a wife, a mom, a spiritual disciple of my children, the educator of our kids (aka homeschooling) or any of those things. God as simply called me to add to it. When God calls us into new realms he doesn’t ask us to abandon who we are. In fact, that is the very thing He desires for us to take with us. God has shaped our identity in a special way so that as we are called out into moments of ministry that our uniquely shaped identity shines through to bring honor and glory to His name. Upon reaching this understanding it brought my heart such peace and clarity. So, was I going through an identity crisis? No, I had simply misunderstood God’s intentions for my uniquely designed identity. I had mistakenly assumed that He wanted me to leave behind my identity instead of adding to it. This is such liberty to my spirit because it allows room for growth, room for further stepping out, room for more doors to open up and room for more callings to come. I don’t have to become anyone else. All I need to do is grow in the person God has created me to be!

If you are struggling with your identity in Christ, know that you are not alone. But also know that He has uniquely wired you to do things that are specifically designed for you to do in the kingdom. Take comfort in knowing Jeremiah 29:11.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

For more reading on your identity check out the following posts: Who Am I?, You Are A Masterpiece, You Are A Masterpiece (Part 2), A Mother’s Commission

Father, I thank you for uniquely creating each one of us for plans and purposes you already have mapped out for us. Help us to know who we are in Christ and have full confidence in that identity. In the moments of our questioning help us to see things through your eyes. Direct us where to go in your word and to the right people in order to get the encouragement we need to search out our identity. Thank you for having a special place for us in the kingdom. We pray in the precious name of Jesus Christ.

Love (Part 4)

Last week we began looking at Love being patient and kind from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Today we are going to continue our study of God’s love by progressing through this section of scripture and examining that love does not envy, it does not boast, and it is not proud.  

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love does not envy.

The word envy means to have a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc. (Dictionary.com). Love does not want what others have. Love is perfectly content right where it is at. One of the biggest enemies we face here in America is the desire to have more, bigger, better, the latest and greatest thing available all because we see our neighbor with it. This desire is not loving. This discontentment puts our desires and wants before others. Scripture clearly states that we are to think of others interests before our own (Philippians 2:4). When we are too busy focusing on the next best thing to go buy or to get ourselves “ahead” we are missing out on any possibility of being able to love others as ourselves (Mark 12:31). When we are caught up being envious of others we are incapable of love because we are too self-indulged. Love does not look inwards. Love always looks outwards others. Envy will always have you looking inward to a place of discontentment.

I am so thankful that God’s love is not envious. God does not get discontent when I get a new job, or when I buy a new car. In fact, the opposite thing happens. God is the one behind the scenes opening the door for us to get that new job, and making our budgets work so a new vehicle can be possible. He rejoices over us in those situations, not because of the “stuff” we are getting, but because of the gift, He is giving to His children. Our response to the Lord in these situations is to recognize His hand in orchestrating our situation and give Him the praise He is worthy of. God’s very nature is not one of envy or discontent, it is one of desiring for us to grow and mature in the kingdom.

Love does not boast.

When someone is boastful they speak and think more highly of themselves than others. Boastful people will purposefully tear others down just to get the glory and praise. Boastful people are filled with arrogance and pride. There is nothing about boastfulness that is loving. When we feel the need to make others look bad in order to “get ahead” we have fallen so far off the love barometer it’s not even funny. God’s love does not boast. God does not make us look like a pile of junk so He looks gets all the praise. God does not have to make us look bad. In our human flesh, we are already weak. The best part about our weakness is that His strength has the ability to shine forth. In our weakness He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9). In our weakness, all of the honor and glory goes right where it belongs, in the hands of our omniscient creator.

Love is not proud.

Similar in meaning to boastfulness is pride. I truly believe that pride can start out innocently enough then turn its ugly head and get us into a boatload of trouble in a hurry. Let me explain what I mean by this. We can be proud of ourselves for accomplishing a goal, but the second we begin to elevate ourselves above others is the very second that pride becomes sin. Love will always be abruptly halted by “self.” When we begin to put ourselves in some form of hierarchical order we have just cut off the flow of love entirely. Love does not elevate self but always elevates others.  

Heavenly Father, I thank you that your love does not envy, it does not boast and it is not proud. I thank you that you have clearly shown us a pattern in your word for love. Help us not to be envious of others, but rather to be thankful for what we have. Protect us from the spirit of boastfulness and pride. Show us ways to elevate others above ourselves so that your love can be seen in us and through us. We ask these things in Jesus precious name.

To read other posts from the series about God’s love please visit the Love series page.

Our Placement

God has each of us where we are at for a very special purpose in mind. Sometimes, we are able to pinpoint the Lord’s reason’s behind us being called to a specific location and then other times we will need to seek out God’s reasons through much prayer and simply being patient in God’s timing to reveal to us His motivations for our placement. We have to keep in the forefront of our minds during the season of waiting that God is not trying to punish us, but to teach us. The Lord does not call us to a place for no reason at all. He calls us to a place for His plans and purposes. We just need to make sure that we are not fighting the placement in the process. I have spent way too much time fighting the placement and it wasn’t until I saw the why behind the placement that I was able to be thankful for where I was placed. God does not make mistakes in His placement of us. Sometimes we just have to be willing to wait for His reasons to be revealed, and trust that He knows exactly what He is doing even when we don’t have a clue. That is why it is called faith. We have to trust that God knows better than we do!

Example of Jonah

If we take a look at the life of Jonah, we can see just how quickly things can go wrong when we fight our placement. (Jonah 1) Jonah was called to go to Nineveh. Nineveh was a city so full of wickedness that Jonah had decided he didn’t like the idea that God would call him to such a place. Jonah had viewed Nineveh as hopeless, and a lost cause, so much so that he decided to fight the placement by running from it. This caused a whole mess for Jonah until he finally realized that God’s way was better then his way.

I’m sure we have all run from the placement of God a time or two, and if we have not run then perhaps we have just fought God about the placement. How does fighting with an omniscient God make any sense? When did we get to the same all foreseeing level as our all knowing creator? Can I get a big NEVER on that one! Yet, we are still willing to say to God “I’m not going there”, or “I’m not doing that.” Thankfully, just like God was patient with Jonah, He will be just as patient with us as well.

Are there going to be times when we question the placement? Absolutely, but that does not mean we should not obey. Just because we do not understand everything that God is doing does not give us the license to say “no way.”,  “not a chance.” or “not me God.” Our Lord is looking for a yielded heart, one that is willing to jump out of the boat and walk on water when He says “Come.” (Matthew 14:28-29) How many of us are willing to do that? How many of us would much rather fight the placement and simply stay in the comfort of our little boat when Christ is out in the water beckoning our name? God will not call us to a place and then abandon us. Just like Jonah, he will go with us to the location He is calling us to go. And while we are there He will teach us a few things (sometimes even a lot of things). The Lord is faithful to work in each of us His character through our circumstances and placement, but we must be willing to let Him do the work. When we fight the placement we inevitably end up fighting the very hand of God working out His character in our lives. All this does is prolong our journey around the mountain. It simply means that instead of taking the direct route to where we are called, we just might get swallowed up by a whale until we have learned to trust and obey that God is God and we are not.

Envying others

Not only do we have to make sure we are not fighting the Lord on the specific area He has placed us, but we also must make sure we are not looking at others around us and wishing that we were placed where God has them. God has wired each of us so very differently! I was not designed to function in your placement, and you were not designed to function  in mine. Actually, if we would try to switch places we would find ourselves more frustrated and exasperated then if we had simply learned to flourish where God had originally placed us. It’s kind of like plants. God designed certain plants to flourish in certain environments and if we take that plant and put it in a different environment it inevitably dies because it was only designed for one specific environment. If we put a rainforest plant and place it in the middle of the Sierra Dessert, it will be dead within weeks. God has designed each of us to grow and thrive in a specific placement. Embrace where God has placed you!

Keep in mind too, that sometimes God will call us out of one placement and take us to another. Be willing to not only accept the one you are currently in, but to also look forward to the one you are called to as well. The Lord called the Hebrew children out of Egypt and to the Promise land, but before they could get there, they had to go through the desert. They did not embrace the desert in the least bit. In fact, all they did for 40 years was fight with God about their placement. That 40 years could have been drastically cut down if they had accepted where the Lord had them for the season and looked forward to where the Lord was taking them. Embrace your placement.

Thank you Lord that you work all things together for the good for those who love you (Romans 8:28). Thank you that you know the plans and purposes you have for us (Jeremiah 29:11). Father, I pray that we remember these things in those moments when you beckon us to come to a placement we are uncertain of. Help us to put our trust and our faith in you and to keep it there! You know all and see all and therefore know what is best for us.Thank you for being willing to place us in specific places to build your character in our lives. Help us not to run from or fight the placement you have specifically hand chosen for us. Help us not to envy the placement of others. Lord you have the very best for us in mind. Help us to recall that in those moments of second guessing. In the precious name of Jesus Christ

Can I lay My Isaac Down?

I want us to think of the one thing we hold more dear to our hearts than anything else in this world. Is that one thing our husbands, our children,our house or some other material possession? What If God asked us to give that very thing up to Him? Would be able to lay it all down at His feet with a willing heart or would we fight God for it?

Abraham's Story

Most of us are familiar with Abraham’s story of Isaac. Here we have a man who had been promised this son and it wasn’t until he was 100 years old that he saw this long awaited promise finally come to pass. Now, all of the sudden God was asking Abraham to give up the very thing he had waited his entire lifetime to get, something he treasured probably more than his own life.

The faith that Abraham possessed was wrapped up in the fact that God was going to stay true to his promise. God had promised Abraham that he would be the father of many nations (Genesis 17:4), that his descendants would be more numerous than the stars in the sky and the sand on the shore (Genesis 15:5 & Genesis 22:17). In remembering this promise Abraham could walk forward in faith knowing that Isaac's life would not end before this promise would come to pass. God would and always will stay faithful to His promises. To read God’s covenant with Abraham go to Genesis 15:1-21.

Am I able to lay down my most prized and cherished thing, my Isaac? Am I able to trust God enough that when I am asked to give up my Isaac that God is going to stay true to His promises? These are some tough questions to consider and I find it difficult to even begin to imagine putting myself in Abraham’s shoes. I’m sure some of you can relate to the hesitancy I have in my own mind about this whole area.

My Husband's Story
My husband shared with me how God had brought him to a place where he could lay down his Isaac. He shared how he was able to relate on so many levels to Abraham when I faced life and death from my stroke. God brought my husband to a place where he was no longer afraid of giving up his most precious belongings for the sake of Jesus Christ. My stroke was such a blessing in the fact that it caused him to rely more on his God then on the temporal things of this life. My husband’s faith grew through that season of our lives. So just like Abraham, my husband came to a place of being able to lay down his “Isaac” and trust that God knew better than he did.

My Story
I had an interesting moment that helped me to see a slight glimpse into whether or not I could lay my own Isaac down.  My husband being the forward thinker that he is, decided it would be a good idea to get the insurance plan on my engagement ring. This means that every six months I have to take my ring to the jewelers and for an inspection. As long as I do this the insurance stays valid and we do not have to pay extra for the cost of any repairs, even if I would lose a diamond out of it. Thank goodness for this because I have had  my ring fixed several times over the years. One of these particular times that I had it repaired, I went to pick it up. I took one look at it and stated “This isn’t my ring.” The woman behind the counter became flustered and assured me she would track down my ring. My husband and I walked out of the store and talked about the situation that had just transpired right in front of us. The conclusion we had come to was that it is only a piece of metal and a rock, a material thing. Not having the ring did not erase the precious memories I have associated with it. It just meant I did not have the tangible evidence on my finger that is linked with those memories.

Ever since that whole experience I have looked at everything I own in a very different light. All that I possess is simply temporal. I could lose all of it tomorrow. Am I putting my trust in the Lord that He will carry out His promises in my life, or am I clinging to my Isaac and not being willing to let go? For those of you who are still wondering at this point if I ever get my ring back, yes I did. The diligent woman at the jewelry store tracked down my ring very quickly and it was back on my finger in no time. Now, I realize that there is no comparison between laying down a ring and laying down the life of your child or family member, but sometimes the Lord works on our hearts in steps rather than taking us to the altar to lay it all down all at one time, and other times He asks for it all. This just happened to be one of those “small steps” times for me.

The Lord's Story
When the Lord asks us to lay down our Isaac down, please keep in mind that He is not asking us to do anything He has not already done Himself in this department. God laid His one and one and only Isaac down for our sake. His name is Jesus Christ. So, the next time the Lord is knocking at the door of our hearts and asking us to give up something we hold dear, remember that He has already done that too.

Lord, I thank you that you have our best interests at heart. I thank you that you desire us to lay our Isaac down, not to make us suffer, but make us more like you each and every day. You laid down your Isaac in the form of Jesus Christ. Thank you for setting the ultimate example of what it looks like to lay down our Isaac. We are so grateful that you laid Him down for us, because without Him we would never have the promise of eternal life. Thank Lord for all you have done for us.  

To read more related posts visit: Facing Our Giants and The Faithfulness Of God

Claiming Philippians 4:13

“11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13

Philippians 4:13 is a verse that we hear a lot in the christian world. For some of us it might even  be one of our battle verses. However, I feel that we have a tendency to overlook the importance of the verses that Paul laid out before this verse in order for claim Philippians 4:13 over his life. If we take a look at verse 11 Paul states… “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” and in verse 12 he says… “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.” How many of us can truly say that? If we take a close look at Paul’s life we will see his life was far from smooth sailing. In fact, Paul wrote this letter to the church of Philippi from prison. If you recall from my post “Joseph’s Journey” you will remember the wretched conditions that Joseph faced while in prison and Paul more than likely experienced those very same conditions. He was by no means in any way shape or form comfortable by any earthly standards. Yet even in the midst of some of the most grotesque conditions Paul was able to say that he was content. How is this even remotely possible? The answer to this lies in the fact that contentment is not something we just acquired out of thin air. Paul stated  twice that he had to learn to be content. I can only figure that since he went through the trouble of repeating himself that there is some great importance to this learning process. Paul had to work hard and continually at being content. There was no automatic button for him to push. It took seeking the face of God in some of the most difficult situations.

Paul’s life

I want to expand this further and take a broader look at the hardships that Paul faced in his lifetime so we can get a better understanding of just how hard Paul had to work at fostering a spirit of contentment in any and every situation that came along his path. Let’s list out some of the challenges Paul experienced. This is not an exhaustive list, but is just to give you a small taste of the things he faced in his lifetime.

• Continually battled with the “thorn” in his side - 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
• Shipwrecked three times - 2 Corinthians 11:25
• he was stoned - 2 Corinthians 11:25

• Scrutinized and ostracized by Christians - Acts 13:50
• Received countless death threats - Acts 9:23, Acts 9:29
• Imprisoned for two years without a trial - see entire account Acts 23:33 - 26:32
• Attacked by a mob - Acts 21:27-30

• Beaten three times with rods - Acts 16:22-23, 2 Corinthians 11:25
• Whipped five times with 39 lashes each - 2 Corinthians 11:24
• Stoned and left for dead - Acts 14:19

Paul learned in the face of these things to be content! If Paul could be content while being whipped 39 times then certainly I should be able to find contentment when problems in my life arise, like when my car breaks down. Just thinking about that comparison humbles my heart greatly! The troubles that I face pale in comparison to the horrifying circumstances Paul had to face. But certainly if Paul had to learn contentment then so must I.  

Claiming this verse

Paul laid out for us the what is required in order to claim Philippians 4:13 over our lives and over our situations. If we want to be able to claim “I can do everything through him who gives me strength,” then we must first be content! From the example of Paul we can see just how much effort we must put forth in order to accomplish this. It will not be easy. It will not be fun at times. It is going to require us to take our eyes off our circumstances and put our eyes on our heavenly father. It requires us to remember that the character of God does not change because our circumstances have changed. Paul learned how to keep his eyes on Christ despite the circumstances. We can all take a lesson from the Apostle Paul in this area of contentment.

Thank you Lord for giving us the example of Paul’s life when it comes to teaching us what we must go through in order to master this area of contentment. We desire to be able to claim that we can do all things through you who gives us strength and in order to do that we must first learn how to be content in ALL circumstances. Help us to work daily on keeping our eyes focused on you and not on our circumstances. None of us have faced the long list of sufferings that Paul  faced, but in the midst of our trials they still seem so large. Help us to remember your character does not change in the midst of our difficult times. You are the same yesterday, today and forever and for that we are eternally grateful.