Parenting Goals

I wanted to share with you some of our parenting goals so that you understand the manner in which we are raising our children. Setting goals has been so very helpful in keeping us focused as parents. It has helped us to know where we are headed, and helps us to plan accordingly. I encourage you as parents to come up with your own goals, what is it you want out of your children? These goals need be realistic, and ones you and your husband agree on. Setting goals will not work if you have your own set of goals, your husband has his own set, and the two do not line up with one another. All this will do is bring confusion and division in the home. 

My husband and I have not established a time frame on these things because some things will take a lifetime of teaching and prayer in order to establish in the hearts and lives of our children. 

Some of our personal parenting goals...

1.  That our children serve the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. 

      "For I have no greater joy than this, that I hear that my children are walking in the 
       truth." 3 John 1:4

2.  That our children be a blessing to whoever they come in contact with.

   "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you 
    may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.' Hebrews 3:13

3.  To sew into the hearts our children the word of God on a daily basis.

     "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." 
     Psalm 119:11

4. To labor in prayer with and for our children daily.

    "...The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:15

I had spoken in a previous post about the importance of communication in parenting. There is no better thing to communicate about with your spouse then the goals you have for your children and for your family.  

This week I pray that you will make time to discuss and set goals for your children with your spouse. I pray that the Lord gives you wisdom as you set these goals to specifically meet the needs of your family, and to line up with plans and purposes God has for your household. I pray that you will not only set goals, but that you will work hard at meeting these goals as well.

Fireproof Christians

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were thrown into a fire that was so hot, it killed the guards who were trying to put them into it! We are going to go through some fires in our lives, some so hot that we are going to see others around us not be able to handle them.

“Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God,come out! Come here!” So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.” Daniel 3:26-27

The fire had not so much as touched a hair on their heads! Wow can you even imagine, but it even gets better, they did not even smell like smoke coming out of the fire! We heat our house with wood and every time I so much as crack the door to our furnace I end up smelling like smoke, so I really have a hard time wrapping my head around this miracle that the Lord did for these three men. In the natural it seems so impossible, but I serve a God who can do things far beyond my natural understanding.

There is no doubt we all go through fires in life. Some will be big, and others will be small, but no matter what the size of the fire, God does not want us to be harmed. He doesn't even want us to smell like fire. He wants us to come out strengthened, encouraged, and ready to strengthen and encourage others when we come out the other side. God uses the challenges in life to make us stronger, to build us up and teach us to rely on him more.

There are some people out there who want say “if God is so loving, then why does He let bad things happen?” God allows us to go through challenging times so that we can grow closer to Him, rely on Him more and so that we can bring others to the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ by our example of faith in the times of adversity. Bad things are always going to happen, that is simply a part of life, but it is what we do in those times that will determine if we are a true follower of Christ, or if we are one of those who get burned up in the midst of the fire.

So how do we become a “fireproof” Christian?

1. Trusting In the Lord despite our circumstances

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;” Proverbs 3:5

This is a hard one because we so often want to know the whys and hows of life. But unlike God, we can only see our life by looking at our present circumstances and remembering our past situations. But God sees our past, present and our future. God has the whole picture, we only have part of the picture. So we are much better off relying on the Lord for direction through our challenges.

2. Giving thanks in the midst of the fire

“give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”    
1 Thessalonians 5:18

This is yet another hard one. This is one I find myself failing at time and time again, because when the fires of life start getting hotter I tend to want to gripe and complain about my situation rather than stop and give thanks. It seems to be so much easier to complain about my circumstances then it is to give thanks. The Lord is calling us to not take the easy road of complaining, but rather to take the road less traveled and give thanks as we walk through the fire. Can you imagine what Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were saying in the fire? “Lord thank you that we are still alive! Lord thank you that we are able to give you praise!” I can only imagine that they were giving the Lord so much thanks, praise and adoration in that furnace that it made God smile. This is exactly what we need to be doing, giving God the praise and thanks that he deserves while we are going through our fires. I love the idea of putting a huge smile on the face of God in my times of adversity! As I said earlier, I have a long way to go in this area, especially when the fire is long, like years long! This is when it can be so very hard to keep a thankful spirit. I have been trying to keep a gratitude journal for this very reason. And when I am in the midst of the fire and finding it hard to find something to be thankful about, I can pull out my journal and simply start reading through it. I find this to be so helpful. Usually by the time I read through a couple of entries I don’t find it difficult to come up with something to be thankful about.

3. Surrounding ourselves with strong Christian encouragers

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just in fact as you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had one another as a source of encouragement along the way. God has designed us to rely first and foremost on Him as a source of encouragement, but also on the body of Christ to help us get through our fires. We are not designed to walk through these fires alone. I thank God for that because our fires in life can sometimes be so challenging that it probably would crush us if we had to do it alone. I know that some of my challenges would have been my end if it were not for the body of believers that God has surrounded me with, and for that I am so very grateful.

My prayer for you this week is that as you face the fires in your life that you begin to fireproof yourself. I pray that you put your trust in the Lord. I pray that you remain thankful in the troubled times, and that you surround yourself with strong christian encouragers. I pray that as you walk through the fires of life that you will come out with no evidence of fire on you, not even the smell of smoke!

Parent Communication

Before we had children, my husband and I decided that we wanted to be on the same page as far as how we raised our children. Soon after we were married we took a parenting course with our church. This was a wonderful thing for us.  It helped us grow in our marriage relationship as well as help us to open up and communicate with one another. We talked about our individual roles as a mom and dad, and our roles as a team. We talked about our expectations, some were realistic expectations and some were not. But the point was that we talked things out. We knew where we both stood and there were no guessing games when we did have children. By the time our son came along we had already worked out a lot of the uncertainties and hesitancies. Not that we still did not experience any along the way, because we sure did! But, we were able to approach parenthood with much more confidence in one another because we had established some clarity and common ground before we jumped into the world of parenting.

Now, I know some of you are probably saying, but I already have children. I can't rewind and start over. No, there is no rewind button in life, don't you wish there was one, I sure do at times. You can start communicating with your spouse today! You can start talking about where you both are as parents, what your needs are as a mom, and a wife, what his needs are as a dad, and a husband (yes, they are different), what you can be doing as a couple to improve your relationship with each other, and with your children. This takes a lot of work, especially if you are not in the habit of taking time to stop and evaluate your parenting. But I promise you, if you both are willing to work through it together and to get on the same page to move forward, it is well worth the time and effort you put into it. You will experience tears along the way. My husband and I did, and still do sometimes. This is part of communication. But we have to be willing to work past the times when we hurt one another, and get past the times of miscommunication and work toward our goal of making our parenting experience a better one.

To all you single moms out there, I want you to know that God has not forgotten you. You do not have to be married in order to get on the same page in raising your children. You single women, while you are not married to an earthly man, you are still in a "marriage" with the Lord. He can give you wisdom over and above what any earthly husband can give. I want to encourage you to spend your time communicating with your Heavenly Father. He desires for you to have a strong relationship with him. He will give you the wisdom that you need to raise up your children. Lean on Him with all your might!

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all of your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."  
Proverbs 3:5-6

I pray that this week you are able to open up with your husband and and with the Lord to establish clear communication between the two of you. I pray that in doing this the Lord showers you with his unending heavenly wisdom. I pray that your time of seeking the Lord will bring about clarity with an abundance of wisdom in the situations you are facing.

You Are Royalty

Did you know that you are a daughter of royalty! If you can honestly say you are a child of the most high God, who sits on the throne, then you are unmistakably royalty!


"Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God" John 1:12

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!..." 1 John 3:1



These two verses tell us that we are his children and that he lavishes his love upon us!
What a precious thing to think about, that we are daughters who are lavished in love by our Father! I can't hardly wrap my mind around the depths of God's love, sometimes His love simply overwhelms me.

Now that we have established that we are daughters, let's establish how that makes us royalty.  

"For God is the King of all the earth; sing to him a psalm of praise." Psalm 47:7

"I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever." 
Psalm 145:1

As we can see God is the King and since we are his children this means we are royalty! Wow! I want you to soak in that for just a moment. Think about what that means for you. The next time you go to the mirror I want you to say to yourself "I am a daughter of royalty, I am royal!" Such a beautiful concept to think about. I had mentioned in an earlier post that God sees you beautiful and this is yet another reason why He sees you so beautiful. You are His daughter, His royal daughter!

I also want you to think about the responsibility that comes along with being royalty. Bear with me a moment as I explain some things here.

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory..." 2 Corinthians 3:18

"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors..." 2 Corinthians 5:20

 "You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not in ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." 2 Corinthians 3:3

All of these things that I have underlined are responsibilities that we have in the kingdom. If I think about in the natural royal family in England and other countries some things immediately come to my mind. Royalty can not be mistaken for a commoner, or for a criminal on the street. They are distinguishable. They are marked, just as you and I are marked. We are marked to reflect the Lord's glory. We are marked to be Christ's ambassadors. We are marked to be a letter from Christ to the world. Royalty is unmistakable. We are not born into the kingdom of God just so we can blend into the world. We were established in God's kingdom to stand out, just like royalty. When we think of natural royalty, no one else can do their job. They were born for that purpose.  God created you; you were born into royalty for a specific purpose. No one else can do what God created you to do. 

As I pray for you this week, I pray that you are able to look in the mirror and call yourself royal! I pray that God continues to establish in your heart just how beautiful you really are to Him. I pray that you will embrace the responsibilities of royalty and show the world who God is by how you walk out your daily walk with Christ! Remember this week, YOU ARE ROYAL!

Lessons From Our Children

I had talked in a previous post about the mirror concept, about how our children can show us things about who we are as parents.  Sometimes, our children will just plain outright teach us lessons, not because we were the original example, but because God will sometimes use our children as an example for how we should act.

"But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18:16-17"

There really are times when we need to have a more childlike approach to things in life. Please don't confuse "child like approach" with foolishness, because foolishness is to be driven out of the heart of a child. What I am saying here is simply this, that sometimes we see things through our complicated adult eyes and children often see the same situation on such simple terms. Christ is asking us to not complicate things so much. Just the verse prior, in Luke 18:15, the disciples were upset because these people were bringing their children for Jesus to lay hands on them. So the disciples rebuked them. The disciples allowed their emotions to complicate the situation. How often are we like the disciples and we over complicate the situation. Jesus basically told them to keep things simple, just as a child does.

This post was prompted by a situation that happened just recently with my own children. My oldest daughter woke up this particular morning cranky, whining and complaining. As she was getting herself ready for class, she began crying. I was not in the same room at the time, but I could hear her. My reaction went something like this, "if she is this way now, what am I going to do with her when she is a teenager?" I knew this was not a good attitude to approach her with, because if you recall she is my emotional one. She will respond with the same level of emotion that I show her. So I knew that if I responded with a stinky attitude than that was exactly what I was going to get back. By the time I got to the room she was in, I walked in to see my son with his hands on her, praying for her. Oh man! I was ready to yell at her, and yet my son responded with such compassion. What a perfect real life example of Luke 18:15-17! I was acting and responding as the disciples did, and my son responded just the same way Jesus did. What a humbling experience it was. I am so thankful that the Lord can use my children as a teaching tool for me.

Are you able to look at your children and learn some things about God, life or yourself? Our children are amazing teachers if we are willing to take the time and learn from them. I find it disheartening when people discount children as not knowing anything. The reality is this, we can learn far more from them then we often realize. We need to be observant enough to see the lessons as they come. The lessons that our children teach us don't often come through the words they speak, although they can at times, but they will frequently come through their actions! The old saying that says, our actions speak louder than words, is often very true with our children.

My prayer this week is that the Lord gives you opportunities to observe your children being your life's teachers. I pray that He allows you to pick up on the subtle things that they do and say that have the ability to open the door of your heart to God's workings. I pray that not only will you recognize these times, but that you will humble yourself and allow the working of the holy spirit to deal with your heart. I pray that you have a major encounter with your creator this week and that it all starts with your children!