Confidence Boosting Glimpses

How often do we as parents ask the question “Are we getting this parenting thing right?” We worry about our children growing up in this ever increasingly evil world. Will they be the influencer or will they will be influenced? Will they be able to withstand the missiles of the enemy or will they be the ones who will be devoured by the enemy? We worry that when we send them out, are they going to take the initiative to put on the full armor of God, or will they walk out the door with only one or two of the items and leave the rest at home? Will they continue to write God’s word on their hearts or will they be hiding other things in their hearts? Will they fight the good fight of faith or will they be overtaken by the enemy? Will they be an overcomer, or will they be overcome? Will they take ownership for the principles that we have worked so hard to instill in their hearts, or will they toss them aside like an old toy, unwanted and disregarded?

As parents we have so many worries about whether or not we are “getting this parenting thing right” that it can sometimes be a bit overwhelming. This is why I am so thankful when God sends little moments of reassurance to my heart that He is working in the hearts and lives of my children. It brings my mind such rest when I hear little reports that my children are taking ownership of the principles that we as parents have labored over to plant in their little hearts. I thank God for these little glimpses into their hearts. The Lord is faithful to show them to me because He knows that my heart and mind need a confidence booster from time to time.

I wanted to share with you one of my latest little parenting confidence boosters. It brought my worried heart such peace! My middle child is my social butterfly. She is one who as James says is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind, unstable in what she does. She is my one who has a tendency to be influenced by the crowed instead of influencing the crowd. She is not one to make waves, but rather rides them. She likes to fit in. She does not like to be different or stand out in the slightest. This has been a challenge for my husband and I because we have always told our children that they were not designed to “fit in.” They were designed to stand out. They do not belong to this world. They belong to the kingdom of God and the kingdom of God will never fit in with this world. Those who belong to the kingdom of God are to be a light in this dark world. They are supposed to stick out, and to be noticed. This goes contrary to her nature. She would so much rather blend in. I share this background with you so that you understand the significance to the my little confidence boosting story, so that you can see just how important it was for my husband and I to see just what is going on inside her little heart. My husband and I have been praying for her in this area of being influenced by the crowd for quite some time. We know that this could potentially be an area where the enemy might try to weasel his way into her heart. So, prayer was and still continues to be an essential part of raising her up.

She was riding in a car with some of our family members and a song came on the radio. Please note here, that my children rarely hear any type of music other than christian music. Their only exposure to secular music has been whatever is being funneled through the sound systems at shopping malls and grocery stores. Other than that, their exposure to this kind of music is just about non existent in our household. By now I probably have some of you asking “really?” Yes, really. We live by the idea that whatever we place in front of their eyes and ears directly affects them in one form or another. We take seriously what their little eyes and ears are exposed to. We want them to be a bright light for Jesus, not a dim one. Needless to say, everyone in the car was singing to this song except her and her little sister because they of course had never heard the song before. One other little girl in the car about her age asked her, “Don’t you know this song?” To which she obviously responded “No.” As she sat there feeling rather awkward, I think the Lord began to work on her little heart because the next song that came on the radio caused her spirit to feel quite uncomfortable. She asked the driver if the radio could be changed to something else and thankfully that was done so quickly without hesitation or question of my little girl's heart.

Here is what I want you to understand about this particular story. My husband and I were not in the car with our girls on this particular car ride. We were not there to monitor the situation and make sure their little hearts were protected from the devil being able to plant seeds that did not belong there. This story was told to us directly by our daughter herself. She shared with us how her little heart didn’t feel right. What she didn’t realize was this was the working of the Holy Spirit keeping her heart from danger. My heart about burst in humility when she shared this story with us because this could have easily gone a different way and we would have been none the wiser to the fact that the devil had taken a foothold into her heart. I share this to encourage you. As you are consistent in sewing God’s principles into the hearts of your children and hold them up in prayer, the Lord will do the work in the hearts of your children to make sure that those principles become part of their own personal set of values. This is why Proverbs says…

“Train up a child the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

As our children grow we want to transition them from relying on mom and dad to lead and guide them to them taking ownership of the values they were raised in and using those values to govern their behavior. Mom and dad will not always be around to say “do this” or “do that.” So, when we see these little glimpses into the hearts of our children and we get a clear picture of what is really taking place, it is such a confidence booster when, by the grace of God, we are “getting this parenting thing right.”

Lord, I thank you for the confidence boosting glimpses you give us every once in awhile. Thank you that you are working in the hearts and lives of our children. We know that it is an investment for eternity. Help us to stay steadfast and focused on sewing Biblical principles into their hearts each and every day. As we are faithful to sew, please take those seeds and grow them in their hearts. Help those principles to become apart of who they are, so that they take ownership for those values. We desire for our children to be governed by your value system and not every whim that comes along. We do not want them to be a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. We desire for our children to be steadfast upon you Lord. Give us wisdom in raising up these little ones to be godly men and women who will not waver!

Precious Moments

God will often use our children to teach us some pretty amazing spiritual lessons. I have written a previous post entitled “Lessons From Our Children.” If you have not read that post feel free to go back and read it or revisit it again for a refresher on this very topic. The sad thing is that we do not typically look at our children to be our teachers in the spiritual classroom. I am quite certain I have missed numerous lessons that God intended to teach me through my children all because I was not paying close enough attention. However, I wanted to share with you a recent lesson that I learned in a moment I was paying attention.

This was one of the most precious moments I have ever had with my children. The funny thing was that it came about because I allowed my emotions to get the better of me. I had to seek out forgiveness from my children for snapping at them, for being cranky with them and just plain having a stinky attitude. Can I just tell you how hard it is to humble yourself in front of your children! But I want to just share with you one reason why the Lord desires us to have a child like faith. Here it is... they are simply quick to forgive. When I sought out forgiveness from my children, all three of them, without hesitation, came running to me with arms wide open and embraced me. As if that were not enough to melt a mommy's heart, this will for sure top the cake, each one said "I forgive you mommy." There were no strings attached, no ulterior motives, no I told you so, no you'll pay for this, just a simple "I forgive you mommy." The words penetrated my heart so deeply and they continue to echo in my mind as one of the most humbling and enlightening experiences I have had the opportunity to be a part of.

This is how Christ responds when we go to him. Without hesitation He forgives us, with no questions asked, no strings attached, no I told you so, and no you'll pay for this. My children responded to me with the heart of Christ when I sought out forgiveness, a response I was not expecting. These precious moments are I things I won't quickly forget as a mom!

Lord, I am so thankful that you use our children to teach us things about your character and your nature. I pray that as you continue to use our children as teachers in our lives that we yield to their God given wisdom and glean from them what it is you have for us to learn. Help us to remember that you can use them to speak into our live just as easily as you can use anyone else. Thank you that you have provided a means for us as moms to learn more about you from our children each and every day. Help us not to miss those precious opportunities because we are to busy to see them when they are right in front of us. Thank you for the gift of our children. You know just what we need and when we need it. Continue to work on our hearts each and every day.

A Mother's Commission

The responsibilities of motherhood are vast, and even more so of Christian mothers. In this post we will discuss just some of the many responsibilities Christian mothers face in raising up the little ones they have been entrusted with.  

Putting God First

The very first and most important responsibility as a mom is that we are to love the Lord with all that we are. This will set the precedence for who our children will become. When we put God first it brings about a whole host of benefits in our relationships with those around us, especially our relationships with our husband and children.

“Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37

Putting Our Husband Second

The next in importance is the relationship we have with our husband. If that relationship is ascue, then it can really be counterproductive for our children’s spiritual growth. I truly believe that God has established an order within the kingdom and it is within this order that things will operate the most effective and efficient. This order directly translates to the home. As women it is our job to make sure our relationships stay in the proper priority, God first, our husband second, then our children, and then all others. When we put our children over our husband or even worse, our children over both our husband and God then we can expect nothing less than chaos to develop in our home. When we keep the proper order, then it brings stability to our home and security to our children. I want to discuss what that relationship with our husband should look like for just a moment.  

Love Our Husbands

“...urge the younger women to love their husbands…” Titus 2:4

We are commissioned to love our husbands! God has given us such a precious gift of our husband and it is so important that we remember just how precious he is. Yes, there are going to be difficult times. They come to every marriage, but it is important that we keep the perspective that he is a gift from God and that we married him because we loved him. Love is not a feeling, it is an action and there is no better way to put love into action then in the marriage relationship. We can never go wrong investing in the lives of our spouse. Because the kingdom of God is about loving others, we are actually investing in the kingdom when we pour out love on our husband. Hence, one of the many reasons people will say our ministry begins at home.

Submit To Our Husbands

Paul Writes:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:21-24

I want to bring some clarity to these verses because some people like to take these verses and use them to prove that there is a power struggle going on with the man over the wife. This is not the case. When these verses are exercised properly there is no power struggle going on at all. In fact, submission is a very beautiful concept and one that we as Americans sometimes struggle with because we like our “rights.” If we take a look at verse 21, it says “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In other words, this is a choice. We made a choice to follow the lead of Christ, just as we choose to follow the lead of someone else. If it is not our choice it is not submission, it is dictatorship. Unfortunately, submission gets a bad rap, because it gets confused with forcefully making someone do something. The true definition of submission is when we make a loving, decision to follow the lead of someone else, not because anyone is making us, but because out of love and respect we trust them to make good decisions. After all, for many of us, this is why we married our husband in the first place, we loved him, respected him, and trusted him. This is the very premise of submission! Does this mean that we as women get no say on matters in the marriage? Absolutely not! True submission does not just rely on the person choosing to follow, it also relies on the one leading to love and respect the hearts of those they are leading. Submission really is a two way street.

Let me just reiterated here. After God our next important relationship is the one with our husband, and the Bible is clear that we are to love and submit to him. We are to lovingly, respectfully, and to trustingly follow his lead. This is the Biblical order of our relationships, and this is the Biblical definition of submission.

Love Our Children

The next important relationship is with our children. This encompasses several different areas that I want to discuss. The first is that we are commissioned to love our them. This fits in right along with loving our husbands. The only difference is that the husband relationship takes priority over the relationship we have with our children. We will actually be using the same verse to show this point.

“...urge the younger women to love their husbands and children.” Titus 2:4

Train Our Children

We have also been commissioned to be our children’s teacher and trainer. God has placed these precious little hearts in our lives for us to mold and train up in the ways of the Lord. They were placed in our care for a reason. Each one of us is completely capable of accomplishing this task. This may seem so very daunting at times, but God has given us many tools to help us in this process of teaching and training our children. He has given us His word. We have an open line of communication with Him through prayer, anytime and anywhere. God has also placed people in our lives to give us support and guidance in this process. He has given us our husbands, our family, our friends, and our church family. God does not expect us to go this route alone.

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

“Fathers, (and mothers) do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Training happens in the menial tasks of everyday living. The things of God really should be such a part of our everyday life that they become normal to our children. They should be part of our natural conversations no matter where we are. They should woven into our family’s identity in such a way that when people look at our family they can’t help but think of anything other than the things of God even if they are not believers. Biblical things should be the norm for our children. The things of this world should be what is strange to them, but far too often we get that backwards. Instead of talking about the things of God around the dinner table someone ends up sharing the latest gossip about the neighbor down the street. This should not be so! We have such a beautiful responsibility here. Let’s not compromise it by letting the things of this world slip in and destroy all we have worked so hard to build. Let’s work hard at teaching and training our children in the things of God!  

Discipline our children

Another area with our children that falls under the umbrella of teaching and training is discipline. This is an area that people get very touchy about because the Biblical view on discipline to the world seems so harsh and cruel. However, if you take a look at it, the world’s view of "letting a child be a child" is more harsh than actually carrying out Biblical discipline. When we allow children to govern their own wills, we are actually allowing them to go down a path of self destruction. I don’t know a loving parent alive that would willingly stand by and watch their child destroy their own life right before their eyes. Loving parents step in and teach their children right from wrong. Loving parents teach their children how to be full of love, how to be full of joy, how to be peaceful, how to be patient, how to be kind and good, to be gentle and how to be self controlled. These things are all taught. We do not somehow just stumble upon these things by chance. They were taught to us, and so it is necessary for us to teach them to our children. And yes there are times when Biblical discipline comes into play. Please note that what scripture states about discipline must be carried out by a parent who also exhibits love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control. Otherwise, you can throw Biblical discipline out the window and yes, you then can call it harsh. Because if we do not have the fruit of the spirit operating in our lives before, during and after a time of discipline then it will be exactly that, harsh and cruel. Biblical discipline comes from a place of love not anger.  

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11

“Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.” Proverbs 19:18

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” Proverbs 13:24

“A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother. Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;  they will bring you the delights you desire.” Proverbs 29:15,17

The benefits of discipline far out way the things we will reap when we leave our children to govern their own wills. When we disciple our children with the fruit of the spirit flowing through us we will see those benefits become our inheritance! When we allow children to govern their own wills, it is only a matter of time until we reap havoc. It is like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, and make no mistake, it will explode with extensive proportions! I know that none of us as parents want to live in a place of havoc. So, let’s be sure to use Biblical discipline in the manner of which it was intended, to be done in a spirit of love.

We hold so many different responsibilities as a mother and there is no possible way we could touch on all of them today. But if there is anything I want this post to bring out it’s this, that we are to make sure we have our relationships in the proper order. God must be first, then our husband, then our children, and then all other relationships. If this gets out of order we will end up reaping a whole lot of hurt. God runs an orderly kingdom. We should in turn order our relationships to line up with his kingdom order. We will reap so many beautiful benefits when things are in their proper order.

Lord, I thank you that you are a God of order. I thank you that you have entrusted us as mothers with such precious responsibilities. Help us to keep a proper perspective on things. Help us to keep our relationships in proper order. Help us to operated with the fruit of the spirit flowing in our lives each and every day so that the things you have commissioned us to do will be carried out correctly. Help us to live each and every day for you.

Lessons From Our Children

I had talked in a previous post about the mirror concept, about how our children can show us things about who we are as parents.  Sometimes, our children will just plain outright teach us lessons, not because we were the original example, but because God will sometimes use our children as an example for how we should act.

"But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18:16-17"

There really are times when we need to have a more childlike approach to things in life. Please don't confuse "child like approach" with foolishness, because foolishness is to be driven out of the heart of a child. What I am saying here is simply this, that sometimes we see things through our complicated adult eyes and children often see the same situation on such simple terms. Christ is asking us to not complicate things so much. Just the verse prior, in Luke 18:15, the disciples were upset because these people were bringing their children for Jesus to lay hands on them. So the disciples rebuked them. The disciples allowed their emotions to complicate the situation. How often are we like the disciples and we over complicate the situation. Jesus basically told them to keep things simple, just as a child does.

This post was prompted by a situation that happened just recently with my own children. My oldest daughter woke up this particular morning cranky, whining and complaining. As she was getting herself ready for class, she began crying. I was not in the same room at the time, but I could hear her. My reaction went something like this, "if she is this way now, what am I going to do with her when she is a teenager?" I knew this was not a good attitude to approach her with, because if you recall she is my emotional one. She will respond with the same level of emotion that I show her. So I knew that if I responded with a stinky attitude than that was exactly what I was going to get back. By the time I got to the room she was in, I walked in to see my son with his hands on her, praying for her. Oh man! I was ready to yell at her, and yet my son responded with such compassion. What a perfect real life example of Luke 18:15-17! I was acting and responding as the disciples did, and my son responded just the same way Jesus did. What a humbling experience it was. I am so thankful that the Lord can use my children as a teaching tool for me.

Are you able to look at your children and learn some things about God, life or yourself? Our children are amazing teachers if we are willing to take the time and learn from them. I find it disheartening when people discount children as not knowing anything. The reality is this, we can learn far more from them then we often realize. We need to be observant enough to see the lessons as they come. The lessons that our children teach us don't often come through the words they speak, although they can at times, but they will frequently come through their actions! The old saying that says, our actions speak louder than words, is often very true with our children.

My prayer this week is that the Lord gives you opportunities to observe your children being your life's teachers. I pray that He allows you to pick up on the subtle things that they do and say that have the ability to open the door of your heart to God's workings. I pray that not only will you recognize these times, but that you will humble yourself and allow the working of the holy spirit to deal with your heart. I pray that you have a major encounter with your creator this week and that it all starts with your children!