A Mother's Commission

The responsibilities of motherhood are vast, and even more so of Christian mothers. In this post we will discuss just some of the many responsibilities Christian mothers face in raising up the little ones they have been entrusted with.  

Putting God First

The very first and most important responsibility as a mom is that we are to love the Lord with all that we are. This will set the precedence for who our children will become. When we put God first it brings about a whole host of benefits in our relationships with those around us, especially our relationships with our husband and children.

“Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37

Putting Our Husband Second

The next in importance is the relationship we have with our husband. If that relationship is ascue, then it can really be counterproductive for our children’s spiritual growth. I truly believe that God has established an order within the kingdom and it is within this order that things will operate the most effective and efficient. This order directly translates to the home. As women it is our job to make sure our relationships stay in the proper priority, God first, our husband second, then our children, and then all others. When we put our children over our husband or even worse, our children over both our husband and God then we can expect nothing less than chaos to develop in our home. When we keep the proper order, then it brings stability to our home and security to our children. I want to discuss what that relationship with our husband should look like for just a moment.  

Love Our Husbands

“...urge the younger women to love their husbands…” Titus 2:4

We are commissioned to love our husbands! God has given us such a precious gift of our husband and it is so important that we remember just how precious he is. Yes, there are going to be difficult times. They come to every marriage, but it is important that we keep the perspective that he is a gift from God and that we married him because we loved him. Love is not a feeling, it is an action and there is no better way to put love into action then in the marriage relationship. We can never go wrong investing in the lives of our spouse. Because the kingdom of God is about loving others, we are actually investing in the kingdom when we pour out love on our husband. Hence, one of the many reasons people will say our ministry begins at home.

Submit To Our Husbands

Paul Writes:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:21-24

I want to bring some clarity to these verses because some people like to take these verses and use them to prove that there is a power struggle going on with the man over the wife. This is not the case. When these verses are exercised properly there is no power struggle going on at all. In fact, submission is a very beautiful concept and one that we as Americans sometimes struggle with because we like our “rights.” If we take a look at verse 21, it says “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In other words, this is a choice. We made a choice to follow the lead of Christ, just as we choose to follow the lead of someone else. If it is not our choice it is not submission, it is dictatorship. Unfortunately, submission gets a bad rap, because it gets confused with forcefully making someone do something. The true definition of submission is when we make a loving, decision to follow the lead of someone else, not because anyone is making us, but because out of love and respect we trust them to make good decisions. After all, for many of us, this is why we married our husband in the first place, we loved him, respected him, and trusted him. This is the very premise of submission! Does this mean that we as women get no say on matters in the marriage? Absolutely not! True submission does not just rely on the person choosing to follow, it also relies on the one leading to love and respect the hearts of those they are leading. Submission really is a two way street.

Let me just reiterated here. After God our next important relationship is the one with our husband, and the Bible is clear that we are to love and submit to him. We are to lovingly, respectfully, and to trustingly follow his lead. This is the Biblical order of our relationships, and this is the Biblical definition of submission.

Love Our Children

The next important relationship is with our children. This encompasses several different areas that I want to discuss. The first is that we are commissioned to love our them. This fits in right along with loving our husbands. The only difference is that the husband relationship takes priority over the relationship we have with our children. We will actually be using the same verse to show this point.

“...urge the younger women to love their husbands and children.” Titus 2:4

Train Our Children

We have also been commissioned to be our children’s teacher and trainer. God has placed these precious little hearts in our lives for us to mold and train up in the ways of the Lord. They were placed in our care for a reason. Each one of us is completely capable of accomplishing this task. This may seem so very daunting at times, but God has given us many tools to help us in this process of teaching and training our children. He has given us His word. We have an open line of communication with Him through prayer, anytime and anywhere. God has also placed people in our lives to give us support and guidance in this process. He has given us our husbands, our family, our friends, and our church family. God does not expect us to go this route alone.

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

“Fathers, (and mothers) do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Training happens in the menial tasks of everyday living. The things of God really should be such a part of our everyday life that they become normal to our children. They should be part of our natural conversations no matter where we are. They should woven into our family’s identity in such a way that when people look at our family they can’t help but think of anything other than the things of God even if they are not believers. Biblical things should be the norm for our children. The things of this world should be what is strange to them, but far too often we get that backwards. Instead of talking about the things of God around the dinner table someone ends up sharing the latest gossip about the neighbor down the street. This should not be so! We have such a beautiful responsibility here. Let’s not compromise it by letting the things of this world slip in and destroy all we have worked so hard to build. Let’s work hard at teaching and training our children in the things of God!  

Discipline our children

Another area with our children that falls under the umbrella of teaching and training is discipline. This is an area that people get very touchy about because the Biblical view on discipline to the world seems so harsh and cruel. However, if you take a look at it, the world’s view of "letting a child be a child" is more harsh than actually carrying out Biblical discipline. When we allow children to govern their own wills, we are actually allowing them to go down a path of self destruction. I don’t know a loving parent alive that would willingly stand by and watch their child destroy their own life right before their eyes. Loving parents step in and teach their children right from wrong. Loving parents teach their children how to be full of love, how to be full of joy, how to be peaceful, how to be patient, how to be kind and good, to be gentle and how to be self controlled. These things are all taught. We do not somehow just stumble upon these things by chance. They were taught to us, and so it is necessary for us to teach them to our children. And yes there are times when Biblical discipline comes into play. Please note that what scripture states about discipline must be carried out by a parent who also exhibits love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control. Otherwise, you can throw Biblical discipline out the window and yes, you then can call it harsh. Because if we do not have the fruit of the spirit operating in our lives before, during and after a time of discipline then it will be exactly that, harsh and cruel. Biblical discipline comes from a place of love not anger.  

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11

“Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.” Proverbs 19:18

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” Proverbs 13:24

“A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother. Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;  they will bring you the delights you desire.” Proverbs 29:15,17

The benefits of discipline far out way the things we will reap when we leave our children to govern their own wills. When we disciple our children with the fruit of the spirit flowing through us we will see those benefits become our inheritance! When we allow children to govern their own wills, it is only a matter of time until we reap havoc. It is like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, and make no mistake, it will explode with extensive proportions! I know that none of us as parents want to live in a place of havoc. So, let’s be sure to use Biblical discipline in the manner of which it was intended, to be done in a spirit of love.

We hold so many different responsibilities as a mother and there is no possible way we could touch on all of them today. But if there is anything I want this post to bring out it’s this, that we are to make sure we have our relationships in the proper order. God must be first, then our husband, then our children, and then all other relationships. If this gets out of order we will end up reaping a whole lot of hurt. God runs an orderly kingdom. We should in turn order our relationships to line up with his kingdom order. We will reap so many beautiful benefits when things are in their proper order.

Lord, I thank you that you are a God of order. I thank you that you have entrusted us as mothers with such precious responsibilities. Help us to keep a proper perspective on things. Help us to keep our relationships in proper order. Help us to operated with the fruit of the spirit flowing in our lives each and every day so that the things you have commissioned us to do will be carried out correctly. Help us to live each and every day for you.