Beauty Traits

What makes a woman beautiful? This world wants us to think that beauty is what we see with our eyes, but what does God see as beautiful? When I searched the scriptures I had mixed emotions by the list of things I found. I was encouraged and blessed, but at the same time overwhelmed with the responsibility involved with the characteristics that encompass Godly beauty. This is why I am so grateful that I serve a God who will help me in the areas that I am lacking in Godly beauty. I have a lot of verses to share today, so please bear with me as we walk through scripture together and dig out the deep truths about what Godly beauty looks like. I hope that we all can be blessed by these characteristics. This list that is by no means an all inclusive list, but it is a good stepping stone to helping us gain a better perspective on what God finds beautiful.

The Lord’s definition of beauty

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” 1 Peter 3:3-6

A truly beautiful woman allows her inner qualities to shine far and above anything that might be seen from her outside appearance. There is nothing wrong with taking care of the outward appearance, but when this takes priority over developing the inner qualities that the Lord desires then we have missed the mark of what beauty truly looks like. As far as some of these inner qualities go, this particular passage highlights three main qualities of importance. 

• The beautiful woman exhibits a gentle spirit.
• The beautiful woman exhibits a quiet spirit. 

Now, just because a woman exhibits these qualities does not mean that she gets snowballed over in times when she needs to stand up for righteousness. A woman who exhibits a gentle and quiet spirit knows how to navigate difficult situations with love and kindness, but with firmness and self control as well. She knows how to restore a situation gently without compromising righteousness. She knows how to serve the Lord and others in the face of her trials and storms. 

• The beautiful woman submits herself to her husband.

I have briefly touched upon what submission is and isn’t in a previous post entitled “A Mother’s Commission.” under the section “Submit to our husbands.” Please take a moment to revisit this post so that we are all on the same page about what submission looks like. There is much confusion in the body of Christ on this topic and I truly want us to be clear on this particular topic. Please also note here that just because a woman is not married does not make her exempt from this area of submission. The Lord has placed in our lives others for us to willingly submit to and for the single woman, some of these people can include her parents as well as church leaders.  

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

• A beautiful woman fears the Lord.

It is so easy to get sidetracked by the cares and and things that this world views as important. However, these things are temporal. They are fleeting. They are not eternal. A woman is beautiful when she does not allow the vanities of this life to distract her from loving the Lord. A woman is beautiful when she fears the Lord. This word “fears” does not mean to be afraid, it means to have a reverent respect and love for the Lord. In this day and age it is a rare woman who places the Lord above all that the world throws her direction.

“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” Proverbs 11:22

• A beautiful woman shows discretion.

Just as it would be foolish to put a precious gold ring in a pig’s snout, it would be just as foolish not to use discretion in our appearance. In this verse, “no discretion” literally means “without taste or modesty.” When we show discretion we are aware that what we wear can have a direct effect on others. When we make a poor judgment on what we wear, we create the potential for others to stumble into a place of sin. It is our responsibility as woman to do what we can to not only keep ourselves from sin, but also to do what is within our control not to tempt our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ into a place of sin as well.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25

• A beautiful woman clothes herself with strength and dignity.
• A beautiful woman laughs at the days to come.

This scripture shows us that a beautiful woman clothes herself in strength and dignity. Just like we daily put on clothing so we should daily put on strength. The strength in this verse is not speaking of a physical strength, but rather a strength of mind and strength of heart. So where do we go to get this strength of mind and heart? Our strength comes from the Lord and from His word (Psalm 28:7-8, Psalm 118:14, Psalm 119:28). We clothe ourselves in strength by daily spending time with the Lord. We should also daily put on dignity. Dignity means honor, splendor beauty, majesty and excellence. Once again, we can only clothe ourselves in these things if we spend time with the Lord and in his word.

I recently heard Nancy Leigh DeMoss on a program called “Revive Our Hearts” share her thoughts about this verse. She stated that “The most important pieces in your wardrobe do not hang in your closet. You can’t buy them at the mall. It’s the clothing of godly character and moral strength.” What a beautiful reminder to us as Christian woman that we are not to put our focus on the temporal things of this world, but on the eternal things of the kingdom!

This verse also highlights the fact that a beautiful woman can laugh (some versions use the word smile) at the days to come. In other words, she has no fear about the future. Nancy Leigh DeMoss also shared a commentary by John Wesley on this verse that said “She lives in constant tranquility of mind from a just confidence in God’s gracious providence.” How thought provoking is that to be the kind of woman who lives in a constant state of tranquility in thinking. I know I am nowhere near this place! I tend to worry and fret in situations that I really should just hand over to the Lord and have faith in Him that He is going to bring me through. But rather then letting tranquility rule my mind, worry and strife in my thoughts seem to overtake me at times. This is one of those areas I find myself taking to the Lord frequently in prayer!

“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” 1 Timothy 2:9-10

• A beautiful woman dresses modestly with decency and propriety.
• A beautiful woman practices good deeds.

I touched on the topic of modesty and its importance in the body of Christ already, so I will not repeat myself here. I do however want to point out the other item in this verse, and that is a beautiful woman routinely chooses to practice good deeds. She clothes herself with good deeds. Again, just like we clothe ourselves daily, so a beautiful woman puts on good deeds daily. She consciously makes an effort to look outside her own wants and desires and looks towards the needs of others.

“In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.” 1 Timothy 3:11

• A beautiful woman is worthy of respect, not malicious in talk.
• A beautiful woman is temperate and trustworthy in everything.

This verse is part of a letter written by Paul to Timothy about how the wives of deacons should act. However, the character traits mentioned in this verse apply to all women not just solely those who are wives of deacons. A beautiful woman is worthy of respect. In order to gain respect she must be one who is modest in behavior, inspires reverence, has a sense of purity and sanctity about her. A beautiful woman does not speak maliciously about anyone or anything. She is careful to guard her tongue from becoming a weapon as opposed to a form of encouragement to those around her. We must be careful to speak words that are going to build others up rather than tear them down. A beautiful woman is temperate trustworthy in everything she does. She has been tested and found to be honest in all that she does. (Descriptions of each trait in this verse is derived from Ellicott's Commentary for English Readers.)

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8

• A beautiful woman is pure in heart.

It should be our goal to see the face of God each and every day. I will guarantee that if we see God’s face each day that so many of the distractions of this life will fall away. They will no longer be a distraction to our spirit because our focus will not be on the things of this world, our focus will be on the things of God. By seeking the face of God each and every day it in turn keeps our hearts in a place of purity. It works like a cycle. A pure heart helps us to keep our focus on the Lord, and our focus being kept on the Lord helps us to keep a pure heart.

“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11

• A beautiful woman hides God's word in her heart.

A beautiful woman takes the time and energy to invest in writing God’s word on her heart. This investment should be a pleasure as opposed to a drugging chore. We should be willing to take time each and every day to not only read God’s word, but to make a conscious effort to apply it our lives, to make the things that we are reading a physical reality in our everyday living. When we do this act of “hiding God’s word in our hearts,” we aid in guarding ourselves from deliberately sinning against the Lord. Does this mean that by applying God’s word to our daily lives we somehow become angelic and sin no longer tempts us? Absolutely not! We still have the potential to sin and to fall short of the glory of God, but we will not purpose in our hearts to choose sinful behaviors. The more we hide God’s word in our hearts, the less likely we are to deliberately chose sin over righteousness.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12

• A beautiful woman clothes herself in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

A beautiful woman makes sure to put on daily the clothing of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. What a list! These things are not automatic. They take work! And some of these things need more work than others. Some days we can be faced with the need to pull out several layers of some of these areas. For example, let’s take a day when our kids are testing us to the limits. On these days we might need to put on an undershirt, a short sleeve shirt, a long sleeve shirt, a sweater, and a jacket of patience! Can anyone relate to what I’m saying here? We need to do whatever it takes to make sure that when we get up in the morning we are putting all of these things on! It is difficult, but not impossible. And on those days when we don’t feel like putting on one or more of these things we need to make sure we spend some time in prayer, because the Lord can help us get dressed on those mornings we are having difficulty. The Lord is more than willing to help us when we fall short in some of these areas.  And for that I am so grateful! I have had and still continue to call on the Lord to help me in these areas. This is a daily process.

Let's recap shall we.

A Beautiful Woman...

• let’s her beauty flow from her inner qualities (inner self) - 1 Peter 3:3-6
• has a gentle and quiet spirit - 1 Peter 3:3-6
• submits to her own husband (if she is single then to her parents and leaders) - 1 Peter 3:3-6

• fears the Lord - Proverbs 31:30

• uses discretion in the way she presents herself - Proverbs 11:22

• clothes herself in strength and dignity - Proverbs 31:25
• has the ability to laugh at the days to come, she does not fear the future, she looks forward to the future with joy - Proverbs 31:25

• dresses modestly. She chooses attire carefully with awareness of the potential temptations that attire can cause - 1 Timothy 2:9-10

• routinely chooses to practice good deeds - 1 Timothy 2:9-10

• is worthy of respect - 1 Timothy 3:11
• does not speak maliciously of anyone or anything - 1 Timothy 3:11
• is temperate and trustworthy in everything she does - 1 Timothy 3:11

• is pure in heart - Matthew 5:8

• hides the word in her heart to keep from sinning against the Lord - Psalm 119:11

• clothes herself with compassion - Colossians 3:12
• clothes herself with kindness - Colossians 3:12
• clothes herself in humility - Colossians 3:12
• clothes herself with gentleness - Colossians 3:12
• clothes hers patience - Colossians 3:12

Now that you can see this list all together you can see my initial reservations. I need the Lord’s help in some of these areas, and sometimes on an hourly bases! You might find a few areas that could use some work in your life as well. God is more than able to help us in any and all areas that we are lacking in the beauty department. Praise the Lord for that one! If the Lord wasn’t willing to help us, then by the biblical definition of the word beauty, we would all have a case of the uglies. We can not make ourselves beautiful. We have to rely on the Lord to change our ugliness into beautiful. He is working on his masterpiece in our lives and turning us from a commoner to royalty.   

Lord, I thank you that you do not look at the outward appearance, but rather you look at our hearts. Thank you that you are more concerned with making our hearts beautiful than our bodies beautiful. You are creating a masterpiece out of our hearts. Help us when we are tempted to look in the mirror and speak negatively about what you have created. Help us to remember that what we see in the mirror is not what you are looking at. Help us to clothe ourselves in strength, dignity, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience each and every day. And on those days when we are having trouble getting dressed with these articles of clothing, help us to come to your feet so that you can help us to get dressed in the areas we are lacking. Thank you Lord that you desire each one of us to be beautiful. Help us to look at beauty through your eyes each and every day.